107 Funny Christmas Jokes and Puns 2023

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Christmas jokes and puns from 2023, although some older jokes might slip through

If these 107 Christmas jokes is not enough for you, please find lot more of Christmas jokes in our Christmas jokes collection

  1. What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed? Cookie sheets!
  2. What's Santa Claus's favourite track & field event? North Pole-vaulting!
  3. That sly smile on your face has me thinking you’re up to snow good.
  4. I didn't think this party would be such a drag; I'm snow bored.
  5. What was Santa's best subject in school? Chemistree.
  6. What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas? This is the season to be jelly.
  7. What's Santa Claus's favourite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!
  8. All I want for Christmas is ewe.
  9. I'm pine-ing for you.
  10. Have snow fear—Christmas is here!
  11. Your presents are requested.
  12. Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly!
  13. What do you call a reindeer ghost? A cari-boo!
  14. I bought my son a refrigerator for Xmas – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
  15. The moment you stop believing in Santa is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.
  16. This fire is so cozy, the snuggle is real.
  17. I'll be ho-ho-home for Xmas.
  18. A round of Santa-plause, please.
  19. Happy howlidays! Hope Santa Paws brings you lots of treats.
  20. Sending you pugs and kisses this Christmas.
  21. Who delivers Christmas presents to pets? Santa Paws.
  22. Yappy Holidays and a Happy New Year.
  23. Where does Santa stay when he goes on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
  24. These decorations are tree-mendous.
  25. I only have ice for you.
  26. It is ice to meet you.
  27. Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
  28. How do dogs sing jingle bells? Dachshund through the snow…
  29. Merry Xmas. Hope it’s not too ruff!
  30. How do Chihuahuas say merry Christmas? iFleas Navidog.
  31. What did the dog say to the Xmas tree? Bark.
  32. Santa’s little yelper wants to wish you a Merry Christmas.
  33. Why was the dog upset about the Xmas tree? He was not even allowed to bring sticks into the house.
  34. Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.
  35. Paws a moment this Christmas to reflect on what the season is all about!
  36. What do you call a wet dog with a bell on his collar? Jingle smells!
  37. It is never chew late to wish you a Happy Holidays.
  38. If you’re lucky this Xmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.
  39. That look soots you.
  40. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.
  41. Children who don’t learn to tie their shoes properly are bound to wind up on the knotty list.
  42. It is the most wonderful time for a beer.
  43. The festive season has me feeling extra Santa-mental.
  44. How do dogs decorate for Xmas? They deck the paws with bows of collie.
  45. What do you do when it’s raining cats and dogs? Nothing; as long as it does not reindeer.
  46. You sleigh me.
  47. I’ll never fir-get.
  48. In 2020, the best gift will be hand Santa-tizer.
  49. You’re the best person I snow.
  50. It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
  51. I love when candy canes are in mint condition.
  52. Rebel without a Claus.
  53. You’re my soul Santa.
  54. What do snowmen eat for lunch? Ice burgers!
  55. What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap.
  56. What do you call an old snowman? Water.
  57. Where do snowmen keep money? In a snow bank.
  58. What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May? A puddle!
  59. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners? Rude-alph!
  60. Why didn't the skeleton go to the Yule party? He had no-body to go with.
  61. What do you get if you combine Santa and a duck? A Xmas Quacker!
  62. What type of cars do elves drive? Toy-otas.
  63. When I think about you, I touch my elf.
  64. He is a fungi to be with.
  65. Eat, drink, and be tacky.
  66. I got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It’s a real stocking filler!
  67. You’ve got balls coming in here dressed like that.
  68. What is the worst Christmas present? A broken drum, you can't beat it.
  69. Did you hear about the mall Santa who lost his job? He was fired for Clause.
  70. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa clause? Claustrophobic.
  71. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he has visited? He keeps a log book.
  72. Why is Santa banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.
  73. What do you call a cow that lives in an igloo? An eskimoo.
  74. Santa's beard is so long because he's bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
  75. What kind of linens do gingerbread men put on their beds? Cookie sheets.
  76. Single bells, single bells, single all the way.
  77. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
  78. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They keep dropping their needles.
  79. Who hides in the bakery at Xmas? A mince spy.
  80. How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!
  81. What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes.
  82. Eat, drink, and be meowy.
  83. Have a meowy Christmas.
  84. Merry catmas! Hope you have a Purr-fect Holiday season!
  85. May your days be meowy and bright.
  86. All I want for Xmas is mew.
  87. Here comes Santa Claws, here comes Santa Claws…
  88. Catty Canes.
  89. The tree and I are getting lit this Christmas.
  90. Are you oakay? Yes, I'm pine!
  91. I love hanging with you this season.
  92. Never fir-get how beautiful Christmas trees are.
  93. Have a tree-mendous Christmas.
  94. Hey DJ, drop the needles. Can I get a watt watt?
  95. I think my tree and I have a really good chemis-tree.
  96. Don’t forget that everyone is rooting for you.
  97. This year my tree is #ballin.
  98. Ornamentary, my dear Watt-son.
  99. Hey tree, do not leaf me hanging.
  100. Looking at you is like reading poetree.
  101. Birch, please.
  102. I love the festive season more than you think.
  103. Yes, I do consider myself a Christmas tree hugger.
  104. I’m having fun fir sure.
  105. I love you a whole watt.
  106. What a de-light you are to be around.
  107. Advice from a tree: stand tall and proud, go out on a limb, remember your roots, and drink plenty of water.
 
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  38. Dreaminn:
    SATURDAY at 💭𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗜𝗡𝗡 𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗦𝗣𝗔💭: AMY, ELSA, EVA. 10225 Yonge St (North of Major Mackenzie), Richmond Hill, ON ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟴𝟮𝟵-𝟮𝟵𝟴𝟯 ☎️ AMY is a sweet and friendly Chinese vixen, 158Cms, 115Lbs, with C Cups, very excitable and fun. ELSA is slim, petite & very pretty student, early 20’s about 5’2” and 105 Lbs. Elsa has an innocent look about her, but she can drive you wild with pleasure
  39. Birchmount&14th:
    SATURDAY at 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 & 𝟏𝟒𝐭𝐡: JESSIE & *SK𝗬𝗟𝗔𝗥* Birchmount Rd & 14th Ave., Markham, ON. Call or Text for details and appointment. ☎️ 𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟵𝟳-𝟲𝟯𝟳𝟰 ☎️ 𝗝𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗘 is a slim and very sexy Asian girl with skills of the highest degree. *𝗦𝗞𝗬𝗟𝗔𝗥* has returned on Saturdays! She is a superstar & very well known for her skills.😃 We are open 24 Hours daily. We have clean rooms & free parking
  40. SunriseRH:
    SATURDAY at 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔: SUMMER & TIANA. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟯𝟮𝟱-𝟴𝟬𝟴𝟲 ☎️ SUMMER is an incredibly sweet Asian babe, 5’3” with a captivating 36D-28-39 figure, weighing 108 pounds. Summer has very good massage & services. TIANA is a sexy Jamaican girl, 5’6” & 120Lbs, possessing 36DD-28-39 assets to drive you crazy.
  41. NewOriental:
    SATURDAY at 🍏💚𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗣𝗔💚🍏: HAPPY, LULU & PHOENIX. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟯𝟴𝟭-𝟮𝟲𝟴𝟴 ☎️ HAPPY is a slim & busty Korean lady with great massage skills & lots of extra fun. LULU is a friendly and very sexy Vietnamese girl with natural B Cups, and a slim to medium frame. She is a lot of fun, and can be wild at times.
  42. ASPA:
    SATUR𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗔𝗧 𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐀: Jenny and best massage Rachel. 🅰️𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐀🅰️, 28 South Unionville Ave, Unit 5, Markham. 🅰️𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟳𝟮𝟵-𝟲𝟲𝟬𝟲 𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟴𝟯𝟵-𝟱𝟵𝟲𝟲🅰️ JENNY is a sexy Asian honey, about 165 Cms., slim to medium build, beautiful natural 36C’s, long sexy legs & big hips, good massage & excellent services. Jenny has sexy smooth skin and a very good personality.
  43. Peony Garden Spa:
    🌸3 GIRLS AVAILABLE TODAY 🌸 NEW GIRL ASHIA: A VERY YOUNG AND SLIM INDIAN GIRL, EARLY 20'S, 5'2 IN HEIGHT, LIGHT CARAMEL SKIN AND CAN SPEAK PUNJABI, HINDI AND ENGLISH FLUENTLY 🌸 MOON: A YOUNG SLIM VIETNAMESE STUDENT W/ A HELL OF A BODY AND VERY OPEN 🌸 JENNY: A SLIM AND TALL KOREAN GIRL THAT IS A TOTAL SERVICE QUEEN 🌸 PEONY GARDEN SPA 🌸 3477 KENNEDY ROAD UNIT 4 🌸 (416) 335-6093 🌸
  44. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom spa ♨️♨️♨️ table shower body scrub 👍👍👍We have 3 beautiful young girls working today, young and lovely big boobs Tiffany 😜😜😜and Angela Specialising in table shower body scrub massages and offering deep massages Cici🤗🤗🤗🤗5124 Dundas St W Etobicoke.Please call ☎️416-817-3366 to book and Walk in the back door there is plenty of parking available
  45. bnwellness_wilson:
    Blue Nile Wellness Center, we have 4 young beautiful girls are working today, young fun Yoyo 30 years old open mind with 36DD and young sweet student Sophia, pretty Ella and cute GFE Lina are providing deep tissue and sensual massage, pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in aways welcome, back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
  46. Red Rose Spa:
    🌸 We have 5 hot brown girls today 🌸 MONIKA,MALIYA, ASHA, NINA, PAOLA, ANGEL, AAVI, PAYAL PEARL, SANA, KIRAN🌸 2588 Birchmount 🌸 2 Invergordon 🌸 647-702-8800 🌸 Please visit for a great erotic massage
  47. HolidaySpa:
    Saturday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️MAGGIE &* TARA. Maggie is a slim and very sexy Korean lady, very pretty and accommodating. Come and try, you will like. New Girl Tara is a young & pretty Asian girl with big melons and fun services.
  48. ForeverWarden:
    Saturday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Cindy, & Ruby, *nicole tracy cindy RUBY is new today. Details to follow... Cindy is a slim beauty, 5’4”, natural C Cups & wonderfully long nipples. Her massage is nice, her bbbj will drive you wild & her cfs finish is a dream come true.
  49. Flowers Spa:
    ✰ BLUEXADO SPA ✰ 416.357.9797 ✰ 1102 Centre St, Unit #6 Vaughan 🇭🇰🇭🇰 CICI | SHERRY a HongKong woman, is of average height and build, with very smooth skin. She is gorgeous and friendly. 🇲🇾🇻🇳 MY LINH | LINDA a 21-year-old Vietnamese, offers comfortable and professional full-body treatments. 🇻🇳🇻🇳 HANNA Vietnamese good, energetic medium body; also does lighter treatments with emphasis on service. ✰ BLUEXADO SPA ✰ 416.357.9797 ✰
  50. PB888:
    fantasy spa
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