How to Stop the Addiction

[Mikiki]

I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with Bohemian and Burt that 12 step program is effective, as Burt believes 12-step programs have a effective proven record, but he may not be far off it's it better than other programs, as many are just as dismal?

The 12-step program comes out of the religious basis I talked about earlier, it's basically Christian although they allow you to substitute the Buddha or someone similar if you like. But like I said so many mongers just aren't religious and will get insulted if you are going to ask them to turn themselves over to a power greater then themselves and admit they are powerless to fight their addiction. Many people critical of 12-step programs say admitting you are powerless over your addiction is really a self-fulfilling prophecy. The AA record of keeping people off alcohol is very poor and they have a very high drop out rate, however those that stay to the end usually have a higher perceneforum.xxxe of success, and those that stay end up dying of something else.
I been to a few sets of meeting twice once as a undergraduate psychology student, and once when I got a DUI, for a total of 10 meetings, and man do those people smoke and drink coffee something terrible, to me it was boring and really only a social setting. They say the success rate of people by themselves is about 50% and in fact see no difference the meetings make and put their success rate at 0% others put it at 5% to 10% above people beating the problem on their own. ( My Grand uncle found success off this program, and was a leader, but a year after he licked his problem he died of a heart attack, as he become a two pack a day smoker)

Now that's talking about AA programs for alcohol, but now you have all these other groups substituting the word alcohol for sex addictions, gambling, etc etc.....oh yeah they even have a 12-step program called " Schizophrenics Anonymous" how would you like to be in that one?

The only universal medicine that has been able to cure so many different health problems as the 12-step programs was called 'snake oil' that was popular in the turn of the century by traveling medicines shows.I think the same thing is going on here, when 12-step programs claim they could cure so many problems like addictions Of course 12-step programs are free, but sometimes you get what you pay for, and that doesn't count your time wasted at these meetings, and gas.

Another criticism of 12-step programs is they don't have a professional leader, just other guys and girls just like you, some say it's another example of the 'blind leading the blind." But with 12-step sex addict problems you have problems with guys going to to pick up sex addicted females, or as all group therapy sessions, you have a big mouthed guy doing all the talking.

Let me give one example why the 12-step program doesn't always transfer over as well as the alcohol 12 step program. In both programs after you admit your powerless over you own problem and tell God or your higher power to fix you, your suppose listen and surrender your will over to a veteran of AA who has been their before, and he helps you out when you need it, for example you in a bar at 1:00AM and you want to drink, so you call the veteran on the phone, wake him up and he'll go get you, and help you though your situation so you won't take the drink or stop you from taking others.

Now lets suppose Burt and I am in the sex addiction 12-step program and Burt's my mentor veteran who has beat this problem, and I'm the newbie sex addict, and one night just like the other night I see this HOT chica dancer/sex provider at Hong Kong at 2:00AM she is a tall red-head with 38 C/D sized melon big tits with a body to die for, and I want to fuck her so bad, so I call up Burt, hey Burt, I don't think I could control myself, there is this hot chica I want to fuck, can you save me from myself and stop me from fucking her? You think Burt's going to get out of bed and save me? Hell no, he'll hang up the phone, or say he'll be right there, save some for me to get sloppy seconds. I just don't see the mentor part working at all. (true story about the redhead at HK, I wanted her bad, but passed on her, and then didn't see her again, and settled for this Miami chica, with big tits who was a 6 at best, the HK chica was an 8 1/2)

I think the best thing to do with 12-step programs is to use it in conjunction with other therapies, and/or drug treatments.

 

[Trixzter]

Let me address a few of you without the quotes. Yes Gmbrldx the first step in conquering an addiction especially a sex addiction is the recognition that you have one. But for some this is very hard, for one thing sex is a drive, next to eating you to have have it, you weren't actually lying to the girls in high school, that you would go crazy, or get backed up. So you have to distinguish from your normal sex drive to your abnormal need for sex. I know alcoholics who don't even know they are alcoholics, as they claim they aren't alcoholics because they don't drink in the morning, but right after you they drink themselves to a drink stupor every night. You know how I could tell who are the alcoholic mongers? It's the guy who love the bottle better then the pussy. Last year I car pooled with this two time DUI guy a few days a week, and since I'm a monger that means he has to go to TJ. We use to get there at 9PM and about 2PM I'm ready to go home, and he has yet taken up the chica. So I tell him hurry up and fuck her and lets go home. Before I know it it's 4AM and he didn't didn't fuck her. I have to threaten him I'm leaving him, finally, he then take the chica upstairs and fucks her.( this happened a few times) Their main thing is to drink not fuck, and the meseros love them.

Sexual addiction isn't even in the "DSM-IV" the standard manual for mental disorders, as the professionals can't even agree whether there is such a thing as a sexual addiction, or they ague over the terminology to use. Many guys on this forum and others will tell you they don't have a addiction, and that they are just having fun, besides sex is natural. You really can't tell them they are wrong, can you? To me you have a sexual addiction if it controls you instead of you controlling the addiction and it's destroying your life or already destroyed your life. Examples, your wife leaving you, or suspect somethings is up, money problems because instead or working and paying bills your out fucking whores, etc etc.

A lot of the reading material out there suggest those of us who have sexual addictions problems, really have trouble with intimacy. I'm not sure about that in my case, but my addictions problems aren't that great, but intimacy is suppose to be big along with emotional exhaustion. For me and others we like the 'rush' the euphoria that comes over you after you get the sexual fix, but for some, after awhile the sexual fix at best only allows you to feel normal.

The people who say sex isn't an addiction because no chemicals are involved are wrong as we get sexually high off endorphins, and phenylethylamine(PEA) that some people call the love molecule, as it's suppose to be similar to amphetamines. I myself rather get high on sex, and I even heard when they stimulate rat's brains they go into a frenzy ignoring food. For some sex is the perfect drug because it deadens the pain of living, but in the end it usually makes you worst off.

 

[joyal]

Thanks Gmblrdx, sorry I cant pronounce your name I admit myself I am an addict ! I have tried running (including running away from myself !), I go for a long jog on a Sat morning, think how wonderful the world is, do all the things to cut the thought of pretty girls out of my mind, clean the house, garage, car and by 4 pm the sex thought comes creeping in my mind. I try to shrug it off, then at 6 pm it becomes more intense. Then I start having "withdrawal" symptoms ! Then finally I stop fighthing it convenient thinking "the best way to find temptaion is to yield to it " !!!

 

[Adam M]

Thanks Burt. Yes the 12 step program is effective I hear, but one has to make the commitment to it obviously. The problem I am having is I refuse to accept that it is bad and I dont want the option of cutting it off altogether like quitting smoking. In a way this addiction is vastly different than substance abuse as it is something "genetic" or "natural for some". I think the addicted person has higher sexual drive or some genetic make up ? I think few of us admit there is a problem. I think it would be very ideal if one had good control over the time and money spent, rather than quitting altogether which seems almost impossible ? Maybe someone outther who did it can help ?

 

[KimJongIl]

Thanks guys, Let me start with Fireballs reply very incisive as usual. Yes the 12 steps program basically says you have no control and got to admit it and take help of "higher power".
That reminds me of Satan 666. Growing up as a Catholic studing in Irish Institutions including the hallowed Notre Dame, it was drilled in my mind to consider sex as bad and all that. But somehow that was always on my mind. Serving as Altar boy at the Mass, I would be eyeing pretty older ladies while serving Mass ! Damn looks like I was born with it. Satan had control over me from the start (no excuses). But sometimes I wonder is Satan all that bad (sorry blashphemy).
And yes one has more than one addiction, most common is porn addiction which I need to control also.
And yes I would score high on the addiction test, I had taken a few of them. I am damned. Extreme measures however is difficult to sustain. Once I cut it off for more than 3 months and it worked. But then I started again and again got into it.......

 

[Theresa]

The first step in conquering an addiction is the recognition that you are addicted.

Are you addicted? Are you not in control of your actions with regard to mongering? Are you unable to control your mongering? Is your mongering controlling you? Do you need a mongering "fix" to allow you to just feel normal?

If you find that you are able to control yourself and you are not an addict, it is now your solemn duty to go out and get laid! Happy Hunting.

If you decide that you are no longer in control of your actions with regard to mongering, then you must admit to yourself you are addict. There are many, many resources available. A counselor who specializes in addiction might be your first appointment. Believe it or not, exercise, running, bicycling, individual and team sports, yoga, acupuncture, meditation -- all of these diversions can help. But along the line somewhere -- preferably sooner than later -- consulting a professional should be on your task list.

Good Luck!

(P.S. I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist, licensed care social worker, etc. However, I have had extensive experience with addiction. 'nuff said.)

 

[Nathan C]

There are 12-step programs for a number of addictions. 12-step programs have a proven track record. Studies I read indicated 12-step programs are equal to or greater (usually greater) than other forms of therapy in terms of effectiveness measured by the rate of recidivism.

**************

Bohemian…I don’t think this thread is out of place. I think many mongers have concerns that mongering is taking a disproportionate amount of their time and/or income. Also, in private conversations some well known mongers have confided to me they have ceased to find mongering fun/fulfilling.

Any monger desiring to reduce/stop his mongering won’t get any heat from me. However, if that’s your decision and you're successful then I hope you’ll post how you did it.

 

[P!nk Hair Female Aviator]

I don't know if the 12 month program is good for someone who wants to stop a sexual addiction. Like drug addictions it's usually good after someone gets a handle on their problem, and goes to those meeting to keep from falling back into the old habits. Also it seems so many mongers are also Atheists on these sites, for one reason or another, most likely they fell guilty about their habit? But the thing about a "12 step program" is they want you to believe in a "higher power" whatever that means to you, but I guess a few addicted mongers have been helped by this program alone?

And I really don't like the religious programs alone to stop addictions. There big thing her is to fight temptations, fight Satan's demons in the form of a hot whore harlot. You know the Jesus will not allow Satan to temp you more then you can resist. Sometimes I don't know about that one, as these hot mamacitas in TJ are almost impossible to resist. The other thing to do if your following the religious way, is to "pluck your eye out if it's causing you to sin, as it's better to lose an eye, then the whole body. So what you do if your addicted to porn, those religious guys are always addicted to porn. so they are told to put filters on your computer that block sites, and if that doesn't work cancel your internet service, or throw your computer away. I myself find addicted to porn nothing, but I guess some guys feel real guilty about it. I would almost recommend they substitute they porn addiction to fucking real prostitutes, but then thats just kicking the problem down the road. And you know what they say," if you have a sexual addiction, you most likely have more than one addiction as you probably abuse alcohol, drugs, or gambling. Fuck, I know guys I met from these sites that seem to be addicted to all those vices!

Religious teaching will tell you that extreme addictions have to take extreme steps to fight Satan. I don't know about throwing away the computer, but they and others have a point, keep away from temptation. There is no way in hell you'll be able to resist having sex with a provider if your in a place like Tijuana or worst religious Thailand. It may come as a surprise but I'm a little addicted myself, and try to keep away from Tijuana as long as I could, and I use to monger in the US, but I completely or almost completely given that up, so if I want to have sex with a hooker, I have to travel 100 miles to TJ, it's a shame from my job I'm only about one hour away from TJ. So a big thing is just staying away from those red light districts wherever they may be.

I'll try to also talk about some other better interesting ways to stop sex addiction some I tried or want to try.

Here is a test you might want to take to see if your addicted. Damn, I scored high, they tell me to seek help, but I think I scored so high because I spend too much time on the internet:


http://www.sexhelp.com/internet_screening_test.cfm

 

[madeleinew]

Ok, let me start a new post. Now this runs contrary to what the monger community would like to. But heck it might be of interest to some. I have been thinking (yes even I think sometimes !) how to control this damn habit. As it is I have a smoking problem. But I think the bigger one is the sex addiction. I was researching the internet. There is the classic twelve steps started by AAA, I still need to research more. Do you guys have anything to add from your experience ?

 

[Ursus]

I just bid on 631 auction items. I can't stop. Since I quite hobbying, I keep buying shit.

I want to apologize to all the women who spend too much money on shoes.

I now understand why.