Need to release all the credit card bill–induced tension in your shoulders? (Same.) Well, I’d recommend taking matters into your own broke-ass hands.
Whether you have seriously awful posture or just went a liiiittle too hard on squats, keep the following self-massage tips bookmarked so you can show your muscles some love without dropping a ton of money. Win/win/win!
You’re gonna feel amazing, leggo!
1. If you sit at a desk literally all day
In addition to stretching and weakening your butt muscles and hamstrings, sitting also shortens your hip flexors—especially your psoas muscles (aka main hip flexor muscles), explains Sophia Burdett, licensed massage therapist and owner of Sophia Burdett Therapeutic Massage.
“When you sit, you’re training your hip flexor muscles to be shorter, so when you stand up, they have trouble lengthening back out,” says Burdett. And since psoas muscles start in your lower back and extend to your femur, they can cause low-back pain when they’re tight.
Get loose: Massaging your psoas muscles (which are pretty deep in your hips) is honestly really freakin’ hard on your own, so Burdett recommends hip flexor stretches like these.
Roll Out
GRID Foam Roller
Trigger Point Performance
$26.24
High Density Foam Roller
LuxFit
$23.50
Soft Foam Roller
OPTP
$49.95
Vibrating Foam Roller
Epitomie Fitness
$99.86
From there, dig in deeper by foam rolling your lower back. Begin by lying on your back and use a foam roller that’s angled perpendicular to your body. Roll your body up and down so the foam roller moves from the top of your hips and the bottom of your ribs for at least two minutes, Burdett says.
From there, foam roll your glutes: Sit on the roller, then cross your right ankle over the left knee, lean into your right glute, and roll back and forth. Repeat on the other side.
Next, roll your hamstrings out: Place the roller under your legs, just above your knees. Roll back and forth to cover the area between your knees and hips.
To foam roll your hip flexors, lie face down with a foam roller across your hips. Then, use your arms to roll from the bottom of your hips to the top and back again.
FWIW, a tool like a Theragun, which uses percussive therapy (like a jackhammer for your muscles), to release muscle tension can also help here, says Albert Matheny, RD, cofounder of Soho Strength Lab in New York City. Just gently move the gun across your hip flexors for 20 to 60 seconds.
TheraGun
Percussive Massager
$249.00
amazon.com
Sitting, especially at a desk, also compromises your chest, neck, and shoulder muscles, says Burdett. “Your neck shifts forward a bit, your shoulders and chest curl inward, and the tops of your shoulders creep toward your ears,” she explains.
The muscles in your chest shorten—as does a muscle in your armpit called the serratus anterior, bringing your shoulders forward. Meanwhile, your upper back and neck muscles get stretched out, causing them to weaken. Finally, your trapezius muscle, which runs down the sides of your neck and out to your shoulders, tighten up.
Get loose: Foam roll your serratus muscles by lying on your side with your bottom arm extended and a foam roller beneath your ribs. Roll from your armpit to the bottom of your ribs for a minute or two, says Burdett.
To loosen your chest muscles, grab a massage ball (or a tennis ball, if you have one) and stand facing a corner or door frame. Place the ball between your chest and the corner and gently press into it. Rotate your chest around the ball and repeat on the other side.
The Best Trigger Point Toolz
Double Ball Self-Massager
AllPlay
$11.99
Deep Tissue Foam Massage Ball
Trigger Point Performance
$18.74
Massage Ball
Pro-Tec Athletics
$16.95
Lacrosse Ball Massage Set
Signature Lacrosse
$8.97
If you have time, follow this up with up with Burdett’s go-to chest-opening stretch: cactus arms. Stand with your arms parallel to the floor and your elbows bent at 90 degrees, like a goal post. Slowly rotate your shoulders backward in little circles for a minute or two.
To tackle those traps, Burdett recommends using a trigger point back massager, a giant S-shaped tool that digs into hard-to-reach areas. Hold the middle of the “S” and press one end of the knob into where your shoulder meets your neck. Move the tool back and forth between the base of your neck and your shoulder. Repeat on the other side. Foam rolling your upper back can also help, since tension can originate there, Matheny says.
3. If you slept weird last night and now your neck hurts
amazon
Still Point Neck Wedge
Neck Pillow Devices amazon.com
$17.80
Falling asleep in a ball on the couch after one too many episodes of Queer Eye can stretch out some of the muscles in your neck and scrunch up others, making it difficult to straighten out the next morning (or, like, the next week).
Get loose: Burdett recommends resting your head on a tool called a Still-Point Inducer for a few minutes. The hard foam tool has two knobs that you line up with the back of your head at ear-height to put pressure on and release the ends of your upper trap muscles, along with your suboccipital muscles at the back of your head, which can get tight from funky sleeping positions.
Popping a heating pad on whatever part of your neck hurts for about 20 minutes can also help loosen the muscles, Burdett adds.
4. If you feel stressed AF
When late-night emails from your boss tense your shoulders all the way up to your ears, that’s bad news for your upper bod.
Get loose: Burdett recommends hitting your traps with that trigger point back massager, just like you would to address your generally crummy posture. If that doesn’t work, foam roll up and down your upper back, from your shoulders to the bottom of your ribs.
While you roll, practice some diaphragmatic breathing, Matheny suggests. “When we’re stressed, we tend to breathe through our rib cage, which can tighten up the muscles in our upper torso,” he explains. Relax them and your mind by breathing slowly and deeply into your belly.
5. If you’re PMS-ing
Uterine contractions can sometimes feel like lower-back pain and can also pull on ligaments connected to your sacrum, located at the bottom of your spine between your hips, explains Burdett.
Get loose: Use a foam roller to gently massage out your lower back, rolling between the tops of your hips and bottom of your ribs, Burdett says. This sends blood to your lower abdomen, which can ease pain. Rolling out your glutes and holding a heating pad or hot water bottle between your hips for 20 minutes can also help.
6. If your workout left you unable to sit without collapsing
A solid workout creates microscopic injuries in your muscle tissue. Although totally normal (and crucial for #BootyGains), it makes using the bathroom…a challenge.
Get loose: Start off by rolling out your hamstrings and glutes, says Burdett. Then move to your quadriceps (the tops of your thighs) by lying facedown with a foam roller between your thighs and the floor. Roll from just below your hips to just above your knees.
Next, foam roll your hip adductor muscles (i.e., your inner thighs), says Burdett. This is slightly awkward, but it’s worth it. Lying facedown with a foam roller between your thighs and the floor, stick your left leg out to the side (fire hydrant style) and roll from where your hip meets your torso to just above your knee. Then switch sides.
Finish off by rolling out your IT bands, a tendon that runs from the outside of your hip down to your knee, says Burdett. Lie on your side with your forearm on the floor and the foam roller between your outer thigh and the ground. Roll from just below your hip to just above your knee.
7. If you wear heels all the damn time
“Heels shorten your calf muscles and Achilles tendon, mess with your plantar fascia—the connective tissue in the arch of your foot—and squash the bones in the front of your feet together,” says Burdett. Ouch.
Amazon
Tension Headache Massage Roller
HealPT amazon.com
$22.97
$16.97 (26% off)
Get loose: Use a double massage ball, which basically looks like two massage balls stuck together. Start by sitting on the ground with your legs straight out in front of you and the double ball beneath the spot just above your ankle. Roll up to just below your knee and back again. Then, shift into side-plank position to roll the outside of the lower leg.
Finish it off by facing the ground and rolling your shin muscles. Repeat everything on the other side. (If you want to do all of this sitting down, use a massage stick, which has a bunch of rolly balls or knobs on it, to massage out the back, sides, and fronts of your lower legs. Your standard metal water bottle should also do the trick.)
Now for your poor-ass feet: Stand up and take a massage ball (or tennis ball or metal water bottle) and roll it up and down the arches of each foot, Burdett says. Then, put the ball beneath the ball of your foot and press into it, so you can create space between all the bones in your foot that heels squash. Place it beneath your heel and press down again.
8. If your face is puffy
Whether you have allergies, a hangover, or just look like you stayed up all night finishing the last season of the Great British Baking Show (because you did), you can literally massage your face to look more human.
If there’s puffiness going on anywhere, says Burdett, chances are your lymphatic system is involved. That’s because this network of organs, lymph nodes, lymph ducts, and lymph vessels that make and move white blood cells and fluid from your intestines out of your tissues to the blood stream, according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine.
Get loose: A lil face self-massage can help physically push stagnant waste through your lymphatic system. Gently stroke your fingers from beneath your jaw down to your collar bone. Then, stroke outward from your chin toward where your ear meets your jaw. Continue moving up your face, massaging outwards towards your ears from your lower cheeks, the sides of your nose, under your eyes, and from the middle of your forehead, and finally the middle of your hairline.
Lauren Del Turco Lauren Del Turco is a writer, editor, and social media/content manager, who has contributed to Men's Health, Women's Health, The Vitamin Shoppe, and more.
Whether you have seriously awful posture or just went a liiiittle too hard on squats, keep the following self-massage tips bookmarked so you can show your muscles some love without dropping a ton of money. Win/win/win!
You’re gonna feel amazing, leggo!
1. If you sit at a desk literally all day
In addition to stretching and weakening your butt muscles and hamstrings, sitting also shortens your hip flexors—especially your psoas muscles (aka main hip flexor muscles), explains Sophia Burdett, licensed massage therapist and owner of Sophia Burdett Therapeutic Massage.
“When you sit, you’re training your hip flexor muscles to be shorter, so when you stand up, they have trouble lengthening back out,” says Burdett. And since psoas muscles start in your lower back and extend to your femur, they can cause low-back pain when they’re tight.
Get loose: Massaging your psoas muscles (which are pretty deep in your hips) is honestly really freakin’ hard on your own, so Burdett recommends hip flexor stretches like these.
Roll Out
GRID Foam Roller
Trigger Point Performance
$26.24
High Density Foam Roller
LuxFit
$23.50
Soft Foam Roller
OPTP
$49.95
Vibrating Foam Roller
Epitomie Fitness
$99.86
From there, dig in deeper by foam rolling your lower back. Begin by lying on your back and use a foam roller that’s angled perpendicular to your body. Roll your body up and down so the foam roller moves from the top of your hips and the bottom of your ribs for at least two minutes, Burdett says.
From there, foam roll your glutes: Sit on the roller, then cross your right ankle over the left knee, lean into your right glute, and roll back and forth. Repeat on the other side.
Next, roll your hamstrings out: Place the roller under your legs, just above your knees. Roll back and forth to cover the area between your knees and hips.
To foam roll your hip flexors, lie face down with a foam roller across your hips. Then, use your arms to roll from the bottom of your hips to the top and back again.
FWIW, a tool like a Theragun, which uses percussive therapy (like a jackhammer for your muscles), to release muscle tension can also help here, says Albert Matheny, RD, cofounder of Soho Strength Lab in New York City. Just gently move the gun across your hip flexors for 20 to 60 seconds.
TheraGun
Percussive Massager
$249.00
amazon.com
- Relieves soreness instantly
- Targets knots
- Goes deep
- Kinda loud
- Lil expensive
Sitting, especially at a desk, also compromises your chest, neck, and shoulder muscles, says Burdett. “Your neck shifts forward a bit, your shoulders and chest curl inward, and the tops of your shoulders creep toward your ears,” she explains.
The muscles in your chest shorten—as does a muscle in your armpit called the serratus anterior, bringing your shoulders forward. Meanwhile, your upper back and neck muscles get stretched out, causing them to weaken. Finally, your trapezius muscle, which runs down the sides of your neck and out to your shoulders, tighten up.
Get loose: Foam roll your serratus muscles by lying on your side with your bottom arm extended and a foam roller beneath your ribs. Roll from your armpit to the bottom of your ribs for a minute or two, says Burdett.
To loosen your chest muscles, grab a massage ball (or a tennis ball, if you have one) and stand facing a corner or door frame. Place the ball between your chest and the corner and gently press into it. Rotate your chest around the ball and repeat on the other side.
The Best Trigger Point Toolz
Double Ball Self-Massager
AllPlay
$11.99
Deep Tissue Foam Massage Ball
Trigger Point Performance
$18.74
Massage Ball
Pro-Tec Athletics
$16.95
Lacrosse Ball Massage Set
Signature Lacrosse
$8.97
If you have time, follow this up with up with Burdett’s go-to chest-opening stretch: cactus arms. Stand with your arms parallel to the floor and your elbows bent at 90 degrees, like a goal post. Slowly rotate your shoulders backward in little circles for a minute or two.
To tackle those traps, Burdett recommends using a trigger point back massager, a giant S-shaped tool that digs into hard-to-reach areas. Hold the middle of the “S” and press one end of the knob into where your shoulder meets your neck. Move the tool back and forth between the base of your neck and your shoulder. Repeat on the other side. Foam rolling your upper back can also help, since tension can originate there, Matheny says.
3. If you slept weird last night and now your neck hurts
amazon
Still Point Neck Wedge
Neck Pillow Devices amazon.com
$17.80
Falling asleep in a ball on the couch after one too many episodes of Queer Eye can stretch out some of the muscles in your neck and scrunch up others, making it difficult to straighten out the next morning (or, like, the next week).
Get loose: Burdett recommends resting your head on a tool called a Still-Point Inducer for a few minutes. The hard foam tool has two knobs that you line up with the back of your head at ear-height to put pressure on and release the ends of your upper trap muscles, along with your suboccipital muscles at the back of your head, which can get tight from funky sleeping positions.
Popping a heating pad on whatever part of your neck hurts for about 20 minutes can also help loosen the muscles, Burdett adds.
4. If you feel stressed AF
When late-night emails from your boss tense your shoulders all the way up to your ears, that’s bad news for your upper bod.
Get loose: Burdett recommends hitting your traps with that trigger point back massager, just like you would to address your generally crummy posture. If that doesn’t work, foam roll up and down your upper back, from your shoulders to the bottom of your ribs.
While you roll, practice some diaphragmatic breathing, Matheny suggests. “When we’re stressed, we tend to breathe through our rib cage, which can tighten up the muscles in our upper torso,” he explains. Relax them and your mind by breathing slowly and deeply into your belly.
5. If you’re PMS-ing
Uterine contractions can sometimes feel like lower-back pain and can also pull on ligaments connected to your sacrum, located at the bottom of your spine between your hips, explains Burdett.
Get loose: Use a foam roller to gently massage out your lower back, rolling between the tops of your hips and bottom of your ribs, Burdett says. This sends blood to your lower abdomen, which can ease pain. Rolling out your glutes and holding a heating pad or hot water bottle between your hips for 20 minutes can also help.
6. If your workout left you unable to sit without collapsing
A solid workout creates microscopic injuries in your muscle tissue. Although totally normal (and crucial for #BootyGains), it makes using the bathroom…a challenge.
Get loose: Start off by rolling out your hamstrings and glutes, says Burdett. Then move to your quadriceps (the tops of your thighs) by lying facedown with a foam roller between your thighs and the floor. Roll from just below your hips to just above your knees.
Next, foam roll your hip adductor muscles (i.e., your inner thighs), says Burdett. This is slightly awkward, but it’s worth it. Lying facedown with a foam roller between your thighs and the floor, stick your left leg out to the side (fire hydrant style) and roll from where your hip meets your torso to just above your knee. Then switch sides.
Finish off by rolling out your IT bands, a tendon that runs from the outside of your hip down to your knee, says Burdett. Lie on your side with your forearm on the floor and the foam roller between your outer thigh and the ground. Roll from just below your hip to just above your knee.
7. If you wear heels all the damn time
“Heels shorten your calf muscles and Achilles tendon, mess with your plantar fascia—the connective tissue in the arch of your foot—and squash the bones in the front of your feet together,” says Burdett. Ouch.
Amazon
Tension Headache Massage Roller
HealPT amazon.com
$22.97
$16.97 (26% off)
Get loose: Use a double massage ball, which basically looks like two massage balls stuck together. Start by sitting on the ground with your legs straight out in front of you and the double ball beneath the spot just above your ankle. Roll up to just below your knee and back again. Then, shift into side-plank position to roll the outside of the lower leg.
Finish it off by facing the ground and rolling your shin muscles. Repeat everything on the other side. (If you want to do all of this sitting down, use a massage stick, which has a bunch of rolly balls or knobs on it, to massage out the back, sides, and fronts of your lower legs. Your standard metal water bottle should also do the trick.)
Now for your poor-ass feet: Stand up and take a massage ball (or tennis ball or metal water bottle) and roll it up and down the arches of each foot, Burdett says. Then, put the ball beneath the ball of your foot and press into it, so you can create space between all the bones in your foot that heels squash. Place it beneath your heel and press down again.
8. If your face is puffy
Whether you have allergies, a hangover, or just look like you stayed up all night finishing the last season of the Great British Baking Show (because you did), you can literally massage your face to look more human.
If there’s puffiness going on anywhere, says Burdett, chances are your lymphatic system is involved. That’s because this network of organs, lymph nodes, lymph ducts, and lymph vessels that make and move white blood cells and fluid from your intestines out of your tissues to the blood stream, according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine.
Get loose: A lil face self-massage can help physically push stagnant waste through your lymphatic system. Gently stroke your fingers from beneath your jaw down to your collar bone. Then, stroke outward from your chin toward where your ear meets your jaw. Continue moving up your face, massaging outwards towards your ears from your lower cheeks, the sides of your nose, under your eyes, and from the middle of your forehead, and finally the middle of your hairline.
Lauren Del Turco Lauren Del Turco is a writer, editor, and social media/content manager, who has contributed to Men's Health, Women's Health, The Vitamin Shoppe, and more.
a very clean spa at 4578 Yonge Street, unit 100❣Wednesday, 
416 222-5554
⎝Shangri-la Spa⎠
the place for luxury Asian massages in GTA. 
Two fab spots: Richmond Hill & Oakville. 10 gorgeous girls from China, Hong Kong, Japan & Korea —Coco, Cindy, Cici, Echo, Lulu, Amber, Lucia, Doris, Tina & Yui— ready to spoil you silly. 
♀
Thanksgiving special on now! 
Dial 647-578-8169☎. Feel like 10 million bucks! 
Helen,❣ slim, and sexy body, very pretty. High energy session in store for you Fifi, medium height, very curvy, large boobs, nice comfortable treatment. 
Jessica,
416 297-7488
: YARA, CHERRY, TIFFANY : 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON ☎ 𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟯𝟲𝟱-𝟮𝟲𝟴𝟴 ☎
(155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565
JENNY’S SPA
5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST
ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4
️
SPARKLING SPA
Finger pressure and acupoint massage 
🏵at 1536 Warden Avenue 
Fifi, and 
647 346-8086
Wednesday, 
𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗣𝗔
Taiwan
Korea
If you want a massage, please contact us at 9052375885
𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐀
️
2560 Shepard ave Mississauga unit 1 
Brand new very young university student from Hong Kong. Great massage skills with a wild flirtatious side willing to tease and please to bring you to satisfaction. Perky natural 34C breasts perfect for kissing and body slide
𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐
𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪
7-15 Karachi dr Markham close Costco 
Taiwan, China and South Korea have Anna.
