A question for servers/waitresses. Is it rude not to listen to a

[lilkat-ja66]

customers personal stories/chit chat? I'm a server at a smaller family owned restaurant. A coworker told me how she didn't like it when the customers tried to talk to her about their personal lives. She told me she cuts them off, smiles and walks away when they do this. I shook my head and told her this wasn't right.

I told this to my bf and he disagrees. He says that a server shouldn't have to listen to a customers personal rantings and that he (as a server) doesn't want to hear anything about his customers lives either, just serve the food and get a tip etc. Not "be someones friend or therapist" (to quote him). I just want someone elses opinion. Because I consider listening and interracting with customers to be part of my job.

 

[confused]

im a server as well. for about 2 years now. I agree with your boyfriend, lol.
i mean, i am at work TO WORK.
its not my responsibility and i shouldn't care about someone else's personal life. we have our own problems, why would I want to hear about someone elses? Not to mention I do have other things to do. I mean, it seems like some customers think they are the only table in the whole restaurant. I really do not like rude people! lol.

That is just my opinion...
I feel that if a server enjoys interacting with customers on a personal level, then so be it. I mean, sometimes if the conversation is interesting enough, and if I am not busy at all, sure, I will talk to the customers for a bit. But that is not the requirement of our job. By excellent service, I see it as being friendly, accurate, and.. the faster the service, the better, obviously.

There is this really crazy single woman she is old and lonely, maybe even a little mentally retarted. She finds things to talk about and when I serve her, (a few times a week) she NEVER lets me speaks, (because she is too busy talking about herself, or what she did.. usually went out to a movie theater.. and then I have to hear about her movie she watched, then what and why she wants to eat the meal she chose. I have to listen about her trip to Massachusetts and Germany all the time...) She is one of those customers that believe she is the only responsibility that I have there at work. I can never walk away from her, even if I tell her I have to go pick up her food, or get her soup.. She would rather it get cold, and/or starve. lol. People like that, I'm sorry, it just makes serving her miserable. And that is not part of my job. Fortunatly, she always leaves a happy customer.

 

[Jake]

yes, it is. You will probably get a better tip! And they could tell your boss about the - or +. If your busy, just tell them I have to go and work, but sorry

 

[Shorty]

I've been a server and I ALWAYS do whatever they want me to. If I could tell they didn't want me in the conversation, I would do what I need to do for their table and go on my way. If they obviously wanted my 2 cents, I would give it to them. I don't mind at all - I always liked chit chatting with guests! Good chance that they will really likely you and your tip will go up. But, your coworker who cuts them off? That is quite rude and a tip will likely go down. You sound like a much better server than your coworker because you care overall about your guests.

 

[Dustfinger]

If you don't listen to your customers when they try and talk to you, they'll give you a crappy tip and hate you... so I don't see why you would purposefully want no tip.

 

[Peachy]

i used to hate when people would talk to me about there personal lives, unles of course I could relate to what they were saying. However there are going to be things that you dont like about every job, and seeing as how youare in the business of making tips, your reaction to the customer will determine you money. So I used to just nod and smile and find a way to bring it back to business. Ifthey are talking about there child teething and keeping them up ant night, I am suggesting that they should take a doggie bag home with some lovely sliced apples.

 

[Josh]

Really the servers have to have manners, not the customer. But it really depends on the type of restaurant. A smaller family owned restaurant is probably more concerned about blowing away guest with great hospitality so be thoughtful of your guest feelings. If table turns are the priority then you probably don't want to encourage your guest to stay longer by listening to their conversations. Cutting your guest off and being rude probably negatively effects the tips your friend is making.
The quote "Not be someones friend or therapist" can hurt you too. Being a friend to your guest is great way to make regulars that ask for you. It's consistent income and makes you seem more valuable to your boss.
If this doesn't help you, you really need to ask your boss what their expectations are. Is it better to spend time entertaining your guest by listening to their conversations (without neglecting your other guest), or would they prefer it if you kept the time short and encourage them to leave so you can get the next guest to that table? This can differ allot from restaurant to restaurant.
I wish you good luck and encourage you to take advantage of every opportunity to keep your guest happy so they can return the favor$$$$.