any recommendations?

[Timothy K]

I recently got quite hooked up with a gal who works in DA INDUSTRY.

So.... it started with an exchange of phone numbers after the first service I had from her.

I met her up again but at her apartment.. As soon as i walk in the door we started DFK.. and later on we had a long foreplay and BAREBACK... which i was kinda shocked. Then, after a shower and a lil' chat.. we bareback again.

When i leave.. I gave her a goodbye kiss/hug.. and I asked her "how much I owe you?".. she ask me to suggest a price.. and i said "$100".. she took it.. but at the end b4 i walk out the door she put those $$ back in my jacket and started crying. She told me that she felt bad taking my $$... so I comfort her and finally left..

I know this is totally out of topic.. but I just wanna see if anyone here had the same experience.. I feel very bad even now coz I think i hurted her in someway.. I still keep in touch with her over the phone.. what should I do????

007

 

[twinkiesue]

007 don't feel bad. You did the right thing offering her some $$. I think most guys would get the impression that the chick actually "liked" them and think they were have a "personal" encounter. Maybe she does have feelings for you? but the way you met seems to have confused things a little. My suggestion is keep "comforting" her. Tell her things like "you're not a bad person" or "it's ok I think you're special" or "don't feel bad baby , take off your top".

 

[Mistblossom]

I would say that you shouldnt call her back unless she calls you, and if she does call you back, dont suggest anything about comming to pay her another visit, let her ask you. Then you can be sure that money is not an issue and if it ever becomes one you have all the evidence to show that it shouldnt be. However even though this situation seems like a guys dream come true I would be very careful swimmiing in that water if I were you.

 

[shadow]

Flame on.

Bareback. BAREBACK. ARE YOU INSANE.

By going BareBack you have just pumped every other man she has every done. You have exposed yourself (and her, Sorry I don't know you from Adam ) to lots of shit.

Now lets assume that you're both clean. Are you trying to start a familly. It is very easy to get a women preg, special when you don't want to.

Yeah alot of you are going to tell me that I am an old women.

Well if by "Old Women" you actually mean, safe (use a condom), smart, healthy. Then yes I am an old women.

IMHO "ndapendentgirl" has it right, be very careful of this situation.

Flame OFF.

Play Safe but not too Safe.

 

[liya79]

Maybe she was just working and tried her best to be a girl friend experience and she cried because you only gave her a hundred... hey, I don't know I wasn' there.

 

[MommaYoga]

Sorry to be cinical, but I thought the same as Dr. Wanker. Certainly money was an issue since she took it initially and only after she gave it back to you crying. If she didn't consider some monetary gratutude, she probably would have said: "C'mon, don't be silly, hun" or "when will I see you again?"

Honestly, she might have realized that a hundred was not worth to work for since you can perform a N/BS for the same amount, so she engaged in justification effect instead. She just realized that she might have been underpaid, so in her mind she twisted everything around into GF experience, yet at the same time realizing that you were a client after all, not a BF. Hence the cry...

I might be wrong of course...

Good luch unique007 and keep us posted.

 

[Bobbie]

Well unique 007 you've got some excellent imput, please remember it all, as any of it could certainly be a reality. One thing though, ( I don't mean to be a bitch) but hopefully you are not married. If not, then just live and learn ( to use a condom)!

 

[?V??us?]

I do not think that money was an issue for that girl. If money was an issue for her, she would have taken those $100 as $100 is better than nothing. The girl refused the money entirely, so money was not an issue at all. In my opinion, she did that based on emotional or moral reasons. I do not think she feels comfortable working as an escort, that is why she cried and refused the money. Believe it or not, the first call for a girl is the hardest one. I remember many times, when I was the first client for some escorts, they were very confused and hesitant.

 

[Martin A]

Thanks for your reply guys & girls..

Yah.. i think I definitely needed a check although she told me that she haven't be bareback ever since she seperated from her husband.. I am actually quite worried.. but i kinda trusted her.. the only thing I am afraid is ... to make it worst.. I m not married.. but I am in a relationship! I dun mind if I got anything.. but its my GF i m worrying about.. YES, what a JERK!?!.. i know that! but its done deal now.. what can I do? She can't be pregnant coz i saw her took the pill b4 i leave..

recalling from the nite.. I believe she is not an indi escort.. she said I am the first person(client) to be invited to her place. We had a long talk that nite.. She told me sth that really hit my head.. she said she hated all man.. and i can feel that b/c of the job she is in.. no one really give a shit about her and all they want is SEX.. She doesn't have emotional problem, just kinda lost/ no direction in life. I am sure money is not the matter coz she never mentioned $$ throughout the whole thing.. i offer to pay her b/c I feel she deserved sth in return.

I missed her from time to time.. so i call her sometimes and we have friendly chat but never mentioned about the next encounter.. she call me too (less than me).. but she never ask me to do stuff for her(so i dun think i m being used). To make things better I suggest I should buy her sth (as a gift) .. just to be nice but she refused. I just dun want her to feel alone and being so pessimistic about LOVE. I am definitely interested in her, but not enuff, at this time, to give up my current relationship.

I am not too educate in this.. although I know bareback will definitely be transmitted.. but if I checked when will i get my result? and would it be reliable???

She is a wonderful gal... if she did charge me $$ i would definitely pass her on to the TEAM! haha..

007

 

[Curious gurl]

That's highly possible. Many women feel confused initially when they start working in the adult entertainment, but that's the price they pay for decisions they make themselves (if they're not forced to do what they do, of course). I don't mean to be harsh, but if you chose to market sex appeal, to put it lightly, you must know that clients you see are not there to have an intelligent conversation with you, but to benefit themselves sexually in some way. It is a tough business. You have to let your pride go and adapt to a role of a semi-sex object. See, the problem here is that many women who chose to do this, enter the profession with already existing low self-esteem or hatred towards men. Being viewed in sexual terms only, just erodes their self-worth even further.

As noble as it sounds initially, you shouldn't feel responsible for saving the woman from the industry she's in. It was perhaps her decision to start and it will be her choice to finish. We should all take responsibility for our actions and foresee the consequences. She complains about men wanting sex only from her, but when she invites you to her place, she certainly doesn't try to show her different side other than sexual. Sure you talked after, but if she wanted you to look at her differently, she would have withheld the sex no matter how irresistible you were.



...but she did ask you to suggest the number, when you brought it up, right? If money weren

 

[noodles]

Alanis, you are so thoughtful!!... Those are very good points! I am glad that I can have my answers in a female perspective (like what Spiderman has mentioned). Now I dun feel as gulty about what I did, but it would be great if I can convinced her to go study sth useful for her future career. Like I am not sure what went wrong with her relationship or what causes her to work in the sex industry.. but she certainly can do better, she has great personality!




I actually offered to pay her a few times.. she refused at first.. then she joked and said she wants $1500! later on she told me to suggest a price. I can sense that she won't even ask for my $$ if I dun offer.. and she cried i guess b/c she is upset over the fact that I am treating her as an object???




now.. thats VERY deep.. I never really take that seriously.. She is definitely very important to me! BUt I am thinking if she find out we both got STD or sth... then I wil be FUCKED for life... so depressing man.......



Thanks Studd. I guess thats the only solution.. although its like a fantasy.. but with no happy ending. I dun even know her that much afterall.. and nuthing is worth messing up my current relationship now.. so I better stop calling her. I might even quite the hobby as well.. feel kinda bad myself and for those girls(who thinkss like her).

BUt lastly.. the last thing I will do for this gal is buy her something nice.. what would you guys suggest?

007

 

[Prada? Count me in!!]

Yah... i will definitely be working in the "la studd" mp.. anyone wanna join???

Spider.. yah i always thought of getttin her a book coz I know she likes reading.. how should i start? any good books you will recommend? but if I give her such book.. will she take it as an insult??

007

 

[c_marie]

Hey Spiderman!!

Some really deep thoughs there... Thank you so much! but seems like a lot of work for me!.. I will say this project gonna last me for a week! esp for someone like me who doesn't enjoy reading too much not to mention about writing.. damn..

but I will start my luck from Chapters.. for books and picture card! and i probably won't mention massageplanet.net! but maybe i should put down a reference for quote from "Spiderman, 02-27-2002"

Once again, thanks everyone for the great input!

007

 

[Leen]

"She just realized that she might have been underpaid, so in her mind she twisted everything around into GF experience, yet at the same time realizing that you were a client after all, not a BF. Hence the cry... " - Alanis

Unique007, you may appreciate the thoughtful female perspective provided by Alanis but I want to run screaming through the window whenever I encounter the convoluted thinking all too many women display when they attempt to come to terms with themselves as sexual beings. They somehow appear to see their fundamental sexuality as demeaning as opposed to a natural celebration of life. Sexual activity/feelings can thus act to erode their sense of self esteem! It's all too bizarre for a rational being to even attempt to fully comprehend!

 

[ruth]

Its just too complicated for us to understand what they are thinking... they are obviously very smart(street wise) but they are rather short-sighted when it comes to their future. You see.. they are really eroding their self-esteem in a way, but attempt to make herself happier in monetary terms. So very contradicting overall in her life. One way she can satisfy herself and to be more confident in life would be to learn sth practical to use in her future career.

I just wish that she will make enough money, then quite the biz and run to some other countries to enjoy the rest of her life. Seems like thats what most of them are trying to achieve.

007

 

[ollie]

Actually, from my coldly rational perspective, I don't see any reason why MPAs need to run off anywhere after making their wad since I don't believe they're doing anything wrong anyway. They're women! What's wrong with women doing what comes naturally, which is pleasuring a man! And if they can make a buck doing it, well more power to them! There's no need for head problems here!

 

[Italian girl]

Question: Would you feel ok with your mother/sister/wife/daughter doing it? I don't mean to provoke, I am just curious...

 

[Cornflakes]

I have toi say that I agree with Alanis on this.

While Foxhound seems very enlightened socially & sexually, our society in general is just not ready to accept this.
Things might be different if you asked that question in Amsterdam, but not here.

..and BTW...Would I have to PAY my wife to do it??
As my friend's grandfather used ot say, "You pay one way, or you pay another!"

Bone

 

[BellaBeatle]

...and to make you feel good, the loving feelings are mutual.

 

[kurtiobst]

Alanis!

I suspect that my attitudes are not typical precisely because I have so few close female relatives. I'm not married, I have no daughters, my mother died 37 years ago when I was twelve and I have one sister who I cannot imagine as a masseuse because she is 56 years old!