I've rarely seen a chat room that is actually "moderated". Seriously, if these places were actively moderated the "press 4444 to see me naked" people would be kicked in one second. In all honesty, I don't think someone is really going to take the effort to track down a single person when there are plenty of girls who willingly give out their phone number and other information. Also, even if they found out your IP address, an IP address will only give them your general area (like city), not your exact location.
If you want to make friends, I would suggest going to someplace other than online chat rooms. 99.9% of people on chat rooms seem to be either perverted, older men or young girls who want attention. It seems quite rare to find someone legit on a chat room. Instead, I would suggest going to a website that mainly uses asynchronous communication (e-mail) or an online world.
As far as online worlds go, I played Vside for a while and there didn't seem to be too many freaks. If you log on during the daytime, most of the users seem to be aged 13-17. I've only found 20-25 year olds late at night.