"Cat Food"
A woman has her bridge club every Thursday night and
after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes
home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from
work. Well, one Thursday, she's playing a great game
and she has an incredible hand when she notices the
time. "Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his
dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on
time." And she dashes out of her friend's house, her
great hand forgotten on the table.
When she gets home, she realizes she has very little
time, not enough time to go to the supermarket, and all
she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an
egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the
can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it
with the lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling
up. She watches in horror as he sits down to his
dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it!
"Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made
for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this
for me any old day, mmmmm!" And that night they had
*** for the first time in months and it was great!
Needless to say, every Thursday from then on, she made
this dinner for her husband. She tells her bridge
cronies about it and they are all horrified.
"You're going to kill him," they say, or "He's just
yanking your chain," but she continued to make him his
cat food dinner and then, afterwards, they would bonk
like fiends.
Two months later, her husband died and all the bridge
women the Thursday after the funeral attacked our new
widow for being so callous. "You killed him!
We told you that feeding him that cat food every week
would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly
and play bridge knowing you murdered your husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "Ahh, I didn't kill him.
He fell off the mantel when he was licking his butt."