Chicken

[Penny Smith]

SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do
not even have a chicken.

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or
against us. There is no middle ground.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.

TONY BLAIR
I agree with George.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

TRICIA
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to accomplish its dream
of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
eChicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook - and internet explorer is
an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON
What is your definition of chicken?

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT
CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was
rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

HOMER SIMPSON
Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n