Dorothy @ Tomken Bohemian / Coral

[Wondrer]

So there I was with an opportunity to go out for a business meeting in Mississauga. It was down closer to the QEW and given the timing I knew I wouldn't be able to make it out to Allure. I quickly Googled the location and then checked out the closest spas and determined that Silhouette was about a 2 minute drive away and Tomken Bohemian was not that far away. A quick check on massageplanet.net determined that there were really no great reviews for either, but Silhouette got a bad review very recently and there was nothing really recent on Tomken Bohemian. Combine that with a web site that promoted shower / jaccuzzi massages at Tomken and I thought "what the heck." Mistake.

Tomken's website:

http://www.bohemianspa.com/Home.html

I went into Bohemian and it seems nice enough when you first get in. I was immediately met by a lady who looked to be in her late 30's / early 40's somewhere. She immediately took me to a room and I thought she was the receptionist. She asked what I wanted and the top option given to me was the VIP with no mention of the shower or jaccuzzi. She then said it would be $160 and, like an idiot, I went "OK" and handed the money over - still thinking that she's the receptionist and that this is a place like the one in Newmarket that was the subject of that "Monica Lewinsky" ruling (my cop buddy said that they beat the rap because the place charged a flat rate regardless of a happy ending or not as opposed to all the other places I've been to with the door fee and then the tip on top - which wouldn't be "saved" by that ruling).

The room itself wasn't bad. My only complaint was that there was no shower caddy and the liquid soap was on the shower stall floor, but I can live with that. I did smile when I noticed that the only "artwork" in the room was a small sculpture on the wall that was a head of Medussa. An interesting choice I suppose. I'm not sure what type of mood one is trying to set with a woman with snakes on her head as your artwork. But, again, to each his own, I suppose.

So, I take a shower, dry off with a rather small towel and I'm waiting for someone to come in and, lo and behold, the "receptionist" comes in again, tells me to get on the table and starts to undress. Now, this woman is not ugly, but she wasn't what I was looking forward to. Her name is Dorothy. She is Polish. She said that she works during the week at Tomken and on the weekends at Coral. Her photo is not on the Tomken Bohemian web site but is at the Coral web site (although she has gained a bit of weight since those photos were taken):

http://www.coralstudio.net/dorothy.html

She has a nice set of natural D puppies. All things considered she's not bad, but I was after someone younger and more svelte - for $160, I could have done a heck of a lot better. But, I'm already there so let's make the best of it. Well, it turned out that the massage was basically non-existent - some hands moving around but neither sensitive touching nor a relaxing massage. No teasing of the boys, etc. The conversation was brutal. It was strained and difficult at the best of times. At one point during the massage, the music was CHFI or some other light music station and they start playing Michael Buble and I hear him singing "Let me go ho-o-ome. I just want to go home." And I'm trying to stifle a snicker thinking, "I'm with you bud".

After about 10 minutes, we switch and I get to massage her. Again, I try to make the best of things. She starts on her front and again the attempts at small talk with her fall flat. At one point it seemed like she was about to fall asleep. Then she flips over and the massage at that point has me trying my best and she's lying there with her eyes closed and all I can think is "I bet she's mentally doing her grocery list right now."

Switch places again and the slide starts. Or, rather, I should say that she basically starts gently whacking the Little Colonel against one of her breasts and then starts pumping him. Ultimately, it ends up with her over top of me, her breast on top of the Little Colonel, pumping him more and more quickly and it wasn't Russian - it was basically nipple f**king. I'm watching this from my vantage point and seeing it in the mirror and thinking that this is just getting dumb. The problem is that the Little Colonel isn't wanting to respond but the big head is thinking, I've got to end this so I can just go to my meeting (and I never thought I'd be in an MP thinking that thought except in the situation of "I have to end this because I'm already 30 minutes late for the meeting"). So, eyes closed, quick thoughts of SRM and Plats girls and off goes the Little Colonel (thankfully). A quick cleanup with a paper towel (?!) and she's out of there.

Another quick shower and I'm out of there. I find her in the reception area talking with another MPA and she comes to say goodbye and I politely said goodbye and took off.

So, end results:

Face: B

Body: B

Breasts: B+

Rear end: B

Attitude: C+

Massage: C

Slide: C

Repeat: Um ... no, I think I've got better ways to spend my money.

I suppose that the best part about the experience is that it truly helps me to realize how spoiled I've become from going to the higher end places like Plats and SRM and even the second tier places like Bliss. Ah well, it's all about the learning and the experience. And hopefully this review will stand for learning for any other massageplanet.netites interested in taking a trip out to Bohemian.

Happy hobbying.

 

[Jinkys]

I have to say ... one of the better longer reviews that I have read lately ... and this was negative.

I have seen Dorothy, but not for a massage, and I know that she was reviewed with a probable repeat beforehand but thanks for adding your experience into the mix.

I am beginning to think that October could be Bad Review month ... so if you've got one and have a few minutes then warn us and post a review ... just be in the right frame of mind when doing so.

VBB

 

[laptop_boy537]

Good review, Colonel! You are a real trooper!

 

[Khushbakht]

Thanks for the review, yet much more can had for that kind of dough. You're a brave man forking over that dough having no clue who you're seeing.