I need professional help. How do I gain enough confidence to chat with random girls?

[Manuel]

This is how it began...
Back in highschool I thought I was the ugliest kid there because I had insecurities about myself. My front four teeth were all spaced out, and because of it I never talked. This drastically lowered my social skills, my confidence levels, my self-esteem and other things that come with being social. I got my teeth fixed in the last year of school, sang at the talent show, got first place and was approached my many girls only to reject them (because I didn't know what to say. Why look stupid when you can turn them down?). I won first place at the state talent show a year later and had the same thing happen. I am my own worst enemy

Five years later, after having my teeth fixed after a long time, I don't think I'm ugly. But now I don't have the guts to talk to a girl, whether she's cute or not. When I want to talk to a girl, my heart beats fast as hell, my throat tightens, my stomach twirls, and I can't be myself. Even then, I've approached women in bars and during the day by asking them for an opinion on something, almost always to be rejected outright. I have no clue how regular jacks get beautiful women. I"m musicially intelligent, a great singer (Justin Timberlake type), smart, career-oriented, hardworking, own a nice car, have a nice job but I can't get women because I lack social skills as a result of my "i-am-ugly" mindset, which has been engrained in my head for a long, long time and has thus lowered my social skills and social value. I want to change, badly. But there's always a mental block. Please help.

Answers like, "Just be confident" won't work. If you think it's that easy, I challenge you to go on stage and sing a song with every single note in key. While running around. Not running out of breath. Entertaining the crowd. Hey, just be confident!

 

[Gary C]

Introspection is often the problem. Just go a little bit out of your way to be a genuinely kinder, more helpful person & that mindset will permeate all you do & are. Women often fall for gentlemen more than they do looks. You can't be a gentleman with an ulterior motive in mind. You have to work at making it a part of your being. The girls will come to you. They like a man they can feel comfortable, warm & safe with.

 

[rockfairy1234]

I believe what you need to do is to practice in front of a mirror (yes I know, sounds bad). I think you should start by smiling at a girl or if one comes up to you, its a bit easier when you are smiling because it gives away a positive reaction. Now, you have all these positive things to say about yourself and I think it's a good idea to channel it. Think of all of these good things about yourself everytime you're out and you'll soon have it fixed in your head.

I think another good idea is talking to friends you trust, they know you best and can help you too.