Inspired by Red Stiletto - How clients prep for a MP session?

[josho]

Inspired by Red Stiletto's posts - to give MPA a perspective of the stuff we go thru, our rituals before a MP session. Other than the expected personal grooming: shower, shave, put on clean clothes, etc. Do you?

- Dress up or down

- Put on expensive cologne or aftershave

- Rearrange your work schedule to match your MPA's. Call in sick or declare the day to be mental leave day

- Borrow the cutiest pet you can find and bring it to your session

- Rent the most expensive car you can afford and park it in front of the MP's no parking zone.

- Clip your nails to ensure they don't become WOD weapon of destruction

- Apply temp tatoo with the name of your MP all over your body

- Dress like Mr. T with all the gold chains, ear ring and rings

- Use one lifeline to call the smartest person you know for advice on who to impersonate for the upcoming session

- Learn how to say BS in many multiple languages to ensure the MPA knows what you are after

- Learn how to sing or dance in case the MPA challenge you to Karoke or clubbing

- Call your parent for them not to worry about you as you have a hot date tonight.

- Go to multiple bank machines to withdraw cash to ensure the serial # of money are not consective to prove you are no LE

- Put a nylon stocking over your head or mask so people don't recognize you going into the MP

- Pull out touched-up pictures of you and pornstar Y and tell the MPA that Y is just one of your many girlfriends. For MPA better to give you her phone # and sleep with you before she looses out.

- Pull out the Feng Shui wheel to check for spiritual energy of the MP and location of the table

- Call JoJo of Psychic hotline whether today is the lucky day.

 

[mimi09]

It's almost like a date for me.

Shower, shave, make sure nails are clean and trimmed.
Find clean underwear without holes or stains.
Dress up slightly better than normal (you'll be surprised how much of a difference good clothes hanging on the hook makes even if you're naked most of the time.)
Put on just a tiny amount of cologne so that the MPA does not gag.
Check wallet to make sure that you have enough money for the session plus tip (tip is reserved for the mind blowing sensual session not BJ or FS)
Check pockets for mints and gum.

Things I should be doing that I don't are.

Pack personal towels, sheets, soap, oil and slippers for the session.
Wash car in case MPA looks out the window / borrow friend's more expensive car in case MPA looks out the window.
Pack a condom just in case the MPA decides to rape you. (this is only for you good looking guys)
Go out for a quick RMT lesson for the session.
Get a full body wax to remove all body hair.

Oh screw it, I'm just gonna stay home and jerk off.

 

[Poppy]

Read Penthouse Forum

 

[Jae]

No, but it calls for a compilation of threads related to getting ready

 

[WhatFunHeresLisa]

I had to laugh when I saw the post.

No matter what time of day it is, I always have to shower and put on some clean clothes before I go to an MPA. I know a lot of MPA's have showers, but lot of times, no soap. I rather just go in ready.

 

[rurrsm1656]

damn...i only have 20 mins...havent showered in a week...does old spice still work???

 

[Pleccy]

I prefer using shampoo rather than soap before visiting a MP since the vibrant smell remains on the skin longer. It's all about smelling nice.

 

[carly123houleis]

brusing your teeth helps also.

 

[Doug O]

Trimming the UNIBROW !!!

 

[b8ee1]

LOL!!!

 

[the tax lady]

Play with little Ray while the towel is on and waiting in the room so that it forms a nice tipee with the white towel and "points" the session in the right direction.

 

[da light]

Yeah that's a big deal for women for some reason. 2 different MPA's have said to me "nice underwear!" I'm like to myself, what difference does it make? I thought they were just being nice, but girls always look at the little things ( trimmed nails, shiny shoes, etc)

 

[teebee]

Flyingdgn very funny stuff. lol.
Goodtime, love the line about the BS in mutiple languages

I love it when the client comes in with nice clothes and
a great smell. Makes the session much more yummier.
Pardon the slang. Sounds like I'm 10 again.

Especially when the client shaves down south. MMM!
Makes any P**is look great. Some clients have this
untammed bush, very neanderthal looking, looks
like small nesting animals could live inside of it. He He.

Here's some over exaggerated tips for the client
before the session:

*Go to the gym and pump iron to appear 3 times
your size before the session

*Purchase p**is pump enhancer and bring it to
the session and deploy it while your waiting for
your fav mpa. Give her a heart attack.

*Go to Gucci store and buy a complete wardrobe
and return it after the session.

*Hang a stethoscope precariously in your jacket
pocket to give the illusion of a stellar occupation.

*Keep a copy of Playboy open to the centerfold
and receive a call timed precisely as the mpa
opens the door. "I love your picture honey..yeah..
it looks great...fat?...no.."

*Attach a lamborgini keychain to your keys and
drop it in front of the mpa

*Keep travel brochures to exotic locale's beside
your clothes and drop hints of the dislike of
travelling alone.

*Leave MLS listings of mansions in Forest Hill or Rosedale
and ask mpa of her opinion.

 

[renaisance festival]

Oh gee RS, yer a gold digger hmph! Thats it, I'm not coming to see you

 

[Maverick]

Neanderthal looking? I think thats the first. What percentage of guys shave down there? Is there a stereotypical person who would shave down there?

 

[Lady]

Yes there are.

http://209.29.131.76/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=47537&highlight=shave

 

[His LadyBug]

- Borrow Flyingdgn's business cards to impress the MPA.

- Get a Brad Pitt masks for the session (as I am no good looking guy).

- Put on a fake moustache to complete the Groucho Marx disguise.

- Park your distingishable car 5km away and walk backward to MP to ensure you weren't being followed.

- Watch porn prior to session to ensure your manhood is up to the task.

- Repeat your MP name and your MPA's name to ensure at the heat of the moment you don't call her God.

 

[William]

I always do a close shave to the privates and the 'taint with the wife's Venus razor before I go. It's like she's participating in some fashion. I find it enhances the session, not to mention the feeling of airyness. Ahhh...
Nice briefs can never hurt, either.

Jack.

 

[Omar]

Here's some over exaggerated tips for the client
before the session:
...

"*Hang a stethoscope precariously in your jacket
pocket to give the illusion of a stellar occupation."
-> What about a Dewalt 18V Power drill? 240ft-lbs max torque. No job this big boy can't handle. I'll show you my butt-crack if you show me your's.

 

[Skidoo]

Interesting Thead....

I have always wondering if others got all groomed and dressed up for a MP visit.

I do theclose shave to the privates too....