Ivana @ Enigma - fantastic looks, not my kind of service

[im_a_goofy_chick]

Wow do I feel mixed about Ivana. I wanted to try her out based on her looks, didn't seem to be much on these boards about her but HOmer07's review sounded good. I'm not sure why, as I'd expect several massageplanet.netites must have checked her out based on photos alone (like me today).

Because I was short on time I went for the 30 min BS option. I waited 10 minutes past my shower which seemed long to me. Anyways, I was greeted by Ivana and I was floored by her fantastic body and pretty face. It wasn't unexpected as she looked just like her photos, but damn this girl is gorgeous. We started off with a decent massage (even asked if I wanted more/less pressure), and she ahd a friendly (if slightly bossy) disposition. But that's where the positives ended for me.

After a pretty good backrub, I offered her a massage with she politely refused (fine, I guess we didn't have too much time) then proceeded with her (non-existent) bodyslide - and out came moans faker than the lamest B porno that you've ever seen. Maybe she had good parts to her bodyslide routine but I could not get to that point with the distracting sounds she was making and the way she was acting. If you read this, I'm sorry Ivana, but when you weren't looking I was rolling my eyes.

I think my main complaint (after the distracting fake moaning) is there was no sensuality, intimacy, or teasing, it was very much getting down to business. Which did nothing for me .

A release came eventually with some hard work; one last positive was that she offered to continue to massage me until our time ran out, which was nice.

Anyways,

Body: 9.5 (If only those breasts were real and not so hard)
Face: 9
Massage: 8
Room: 7 (good but not fantastic, also shower temperatures were reversed so I was confused trying to get warm water for a while).
Attitude: 5 (she did come across as wanting to make me feel good)
Service: 1 (non-existent bodyslide, the fakest, most unsexy sounds ever )

Repeat? No.

Anyways, I'm sure that she'll continue to get lots of clients based on her looks alone (I don't blame anyone, she is absolutely gorgeous) and maybe some people enjoy this kind of service, but sadly I'm not one of them, otherwise I'd have found the perfect MPA.

 

[HEY LIBS]

thanks for the review. she has been on my radar for a while now. Gorgeous looking lady for sure but looks arent enough for me. Thanks for the heads up.

 

[?Rachie? ?Liz?]

Very good looking gal but I've heard the same thing about service! Thanks for your honest review.... her looks still have me intrigued. In fact, my girlfriend wants to come with me when I do visit her because she finds Ivana sexy too. I wonder if Utopia allows "couples" to visit their ladies?

 

[Slightly Offkilter]

I saw her recently as well, and had the almost exact same experience as Dan, right down to the confusing shower temperature issue.

On top of Dan's experience, she would stop the back massage now and again to check her face in the mirror or take a sip of her Timmie's coffee. So yeah, not quite the intimate experience.

She's really nice and quite attractive, but the service is very much theatrical. I know all of them are, but this one takes the cake.

 

[<3 molly b]

she look so charm';and her body is so sexy,but her breast look like fake did you massage her.is it no touching.too bad, i try to looking for her but now

 

[FireElementNinja]

For some reason super hot girls limit the milage, and most of the time average girls can be more fun....She is in my NTLD, If I pay for a BS I better get it..or she will get just 20 bucks !

 

[Ramya Reddy]

Not necessarily ... there are so many so very beautiful ladies around who provide great service. However, there are a few who don't have enough experience and require some time to get up to the program. And, there are those of us who are a little more patient and understanding ... then again, we all know .... during this difficult time, people can't afford wasting their hard $$!!

Honestly, she is on my TDL ... well, who isn't!!!


P.S. Danintoronto. thanks so much for the excellent review.

 

[Jena Lost]

Thats a little assumptive no?? "hot" is subjective, and I know plenty of HOT girls that give stellar service. And plenty of not-so-hot girls that give both good and bad service. A girl either gives a shit or she doesnt. Hotness is irrelevant. And I love how guys think they have NO contributing factors to their experience.

 

[lisa hampton]

hehehehe .... well said

 

[Barbie]

Sorry to hear this, she was on my TDL as well. The girls at Utopia + Engima are super fine..and some are just as hot as this one and provide fantastic service.

Well thanks for saving me a headache bud, try http://www.utopiamassage.com/sofia.html I have reviewed her
http://www.utopiamassage.com/anya.html reviewed her


And this one:
http://www.utopiamassage.com/ashley.html

Try her, not seen her personally but heard good things

 

[YNEW rides her veggies!]

Hahaha, I forgot to mention this, in my case it was a bottle of Perrier.

@MPASquared: Yes, I'm sure the experience depends on the guy also. I know it doesn't mean much coming from my own mouth (or fingers, so to speak), but I always treat the ladies with courtesy and respect and show a friendly attitude. I guess it's possible I just wasn't her type, but I doubt that was the case. I'm not an unattractive person.

@victor - there was touching, they felt alright, not the best fake breasts I've felt (though I haven't felt that many), they're half-soft half-hard which was weird to me. Make your minds up breasts, are you soft or are you hard? Hahaha.

Edit: Oh and I'd like to add so people don't get the wrong impression, I do like a good sexy PSE style tease. This was not that.

 

[jayant]

What you say makes sense, Disturbia. I really wanted to say something about the moaning, but didn't know how to break it to her, plus I had a feeling she would take it as an insult moreso than friendly advice. But hey, maybe there are guys who love this kind of service and it works fantastically on them, and she shouldn't be changing a thing.

I'd love to read your review when you go see her.

 

[Christopher M]

LOL We all have had our off days, bad sessions, shitty clients, crappy attendants, bitchy days, cranky days, and people you simply dont like...could be her, could be you...takes 2 to tango and if one person isnt dancing, the other person looks like an idiot dragging the other around the floor (hahahaha) So I like your reply!!! At least you are out there dancin' !!

 

[nik_oops]

Not that I know any better than the rest of you good massageplanet.netITES ... but, for every problem, there is a solution (wonder where I stole this one from!!!) ... but anyway, you got my point.

I've seen so many of these fake moanings and etc. etc. But, I always brought it up with a joke right in the midst of heat .... laughing laud both sides and continue with the action ... this time with less moaning! But, let's keep in mind that this is a JOB .... nothing more ... nothing less!

Sorry guys but your imagnations because if I share my own trick then I'd have to sue you all

I never post negative reviews and in fact although I spend more time around SPAs than my office or my own bedroom .... but I just don't have what it takes to complain .... although I'm so damn difficult person to become satisfied. From time to time, I start something myself .... other than that, if someone else posts a negative review, I am honest to share my own views too. In case of Ivana, we will see ....

 

[landscaper07]

There is a older review were the author (Anbarandy)also laments of the lack of GFE and more of a PSE...so perhaps your not alone.....

 

[hanoverianluvr95]

I saw her yesterday! She was probably one of the worst MPAs I've ever been with! : (

 

[Red Sox 4 Life!]

...oh yeah and her moans sounded like she was trying really hard to take a crap but the bugger just wasn't coming out. There's $250 not to mention 1 hour of my life that I will never get back! She's too full of herself. I'm utterly disappointed.

 

[sh0rtea d0o wh0p]

Hey, that's very funny description. But, really? Is she that bad? She looks attractive and hot in pitctures and person. I don't know. Maybe i should find out by myself

 

[?? Kitty ??]

I don't get it. You probably read this review before booking her and still had to go for the 1 hr session?!! What did GF think about her? Or you went alone?!

Anyhow, next time, trust massageplanet.netITES!


EDIT --> Well, not always! See DB23's reminder below

 

[THiS iS TH3 Y3AR...]

You're really pumping up Utopia aren't you?