Jokes to Impress Girlfriend

[Hahaha]

What did the barista say to their crush?
I like you a latte.

If you were a phone from Apple, then you would be called iGorgeous.

Are you a parking ticket?
Because you've got fine written all over you.

You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop after I have been binge-watching Netflix.


What did one raspberry say to the other?
I love you berry much.


Is your name Wi-Fi?
Because I feel a connection.

What did the magnet say to the fridge?
You're attractive.

Can I borrow a kiss from you?
I promise you that I will give it back.

Wait! Before you cast those dreamy eyes on me, I want to get my maps and GPS ready.
Okay, go!

Knock knock.

Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you stunning!

I believe in following my dreams.
Can I have your Instagram?
Knock knock.

Who's there?
Cheese.
Cheese who?
Cheese, you're awfully cute!

My therapist and I have been trying to figure out why I seem to have lost my mind.
Then I realized that it's all your fault.
I'm crazy for you.

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

What do you call two birds in love?
Tweet-hearts!

What did the calculator say to the pen?
You can always count on me!

Why did the Melons get married in a church?
Because they cantaloupe.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! Somebody call the cops because it's got to be illegal to look that good!

What did the squirrel say to its lover?
I'm nuts for you!

Now, what's on the menu?
Me-n-u

Why shouldn't you break up with a goalie?
Because they're a keeper.

What did the two prunes call their dinner plans?
A date.

Can I take a picture of you so Santa knows what I want for Christmas?

Do you have a name or can I just call you mine?

They say kissing is a love language.
Do you want to start a conversation?

You must be a banana because you're very a-peeling.

I know you're busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?

Ouch! I must have scraped my knee falling for you.

Are you the sun?
Because my whole world revolves around you.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I pass by you again?

I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.

[Sneeze as you walk by them] Oh no need to bless me.
God already did by putting you in my life.

Do I know you?
Because you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

Hey.
I'm an unemployed guy with a certificate in cuddling, a diploma in caring, and a degree in kissing.
Do you have a job for me?


#joke #short # #christmas

Read more on page Jokes of the day for Thursday, 18 May 2023