Life as a married man...

[Boyba Power!]

Dear Diary,

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.And,
I never figured out why men think with their head and women think
with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire
gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it,
I just want you to hold me".

I said "WHAT???" So she says the words that I and every husband on the
planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional
needs as a Woman.

I'm thinking "What was her first clue?" I finally realise that nothing was
going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I
walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive
outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her to take all
three of them.

She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth £200.00 a pair to
which I say OK. And then we go to the jewellery dept. where she gets a
pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you she was so excited. She must
have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think
she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet
because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when
I told her that it was ok. She was almost sexually excited from all of
this and you should have seen her face when she said "I'm ready to go to
the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey I don't feel
like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face, it went
completely blank. I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while. And just when she had this look like she was going to
kill me I added,

"You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man." I figure that
I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008.

 

[Prodigal Son]

Hehe poor man.

 

[Carrot Top Junior]

Oh MC

you are really wicked! And how I sympathise with this guy though... I am really lucky to have a woman who understands my Mars elemnt or what ever else we guys have inside of us. Hopefully (but I think I do!) I understand her needs too. But oh MC... you are so terrible!

P.S. But we love you all the same!

 

[itchybubbles]

Thanks Alex its nice to know with all my flaws, I can make people laugh!

Seriously thought, I wouldn't be me if I wasn't wicked from time to time! I have tried to be serious but it didn't last to long!!!!!

L&L

MC