Random Jokes....

[yagiman900]

I Thought i may as well start a thread where everyone can post a joke what tickled them HeHe heres mine...

A Punch Of Jokes To Start Of...

Lunch time​

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They were all builders and they were working on a sky-scraper. They always ate lunch on the top of the building. The brunette always had a ham sandwich for her lunch, The red head always had a cheese sandwich, and the blonde always had a turkey sandwich. One day they all got sick of always having the same thing to eat everyday, so they made a deal. They all said that if they brought the same sandwich they usually bring, they would have to jump off of the top of the building.
The next day, the blonde was found dead on the ground by the building. The husbands of the three builders were there and they started to talk. The red head's husband said to the other two men, "I packed my wife a peanut butter and jelly j so she wouldn't jump off."

The husband of the brunette said to the other two men, "I packed my wife a turkey sandwich so she wouldnt jump off."

They both looked at the wife of the blonde and he said:" Don't look at me, my wife packs her own lunch!"

Poor Old Man​

This old man goes to the doctor's.
"Help, Doc. I just got married to this 21 year old woman. She is hot and all she wants to do is have sex all day long."

"So what's the problem?"

"I can't remember where I live."

Name That Animal, Kids ​

Eddie's first-grade class was having a game of Name That Animal. The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"
"A cat!" said Suzy.

"Good job! Now, what's this animal?"

"A dog!" said Ricky.

"Good! Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."

"A horny *******!" called out Eddie.

Executive Decision ​

An executive was in a bind. He had to get rid of one member of his staff. He had narrowed it down to two people: Mary and Jack. The decision was hard to make as they were both equally senior, equally qualified, and both did excellent work. He finally decided that whoever used the water fountain first would be let go.
Mary came in the next day and was dreadfully hungover - she had really been partying the night before. She went over to the water fountain to get some water, so she could take some aspirin, when the executive approached her and said,

"Mary, I have never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."

Mary replied, "Then you'll have to jack off. I have a hell of a headache."

The bear and the rabbit​

There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motercycle helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.

It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."

The Pig with the Wooden Leg​

There was a tourist on a farm and he asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.
The farmer said, ''That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.''

''So why does he have a wooden leg?'' the tourist asked.

''Well one night our house caught on fire. And he came into our house and he woke us all up.''

''So,'' the tourist asked again, ''why does that pig have a wooden leg?''

''Well, a pig that brave you can't eat all at once!''

New Improved Lawnmowers​

One day a lawyer was riding in his limosine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass".
The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can't afford a thing to eat."

So the lawyer said, "Poor guy, come back to my house."

The guys then said, "But I have a wife and three kids." The lawyers told him to bring them along.

When they were all in the car, the poor man said, "Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you."

The lawyer said, "You're going to love it there, the grass is a foot tall."

: hyeah: :bleh: hyeah: :​

If There's Any Spelling Mistakes, i am sorry... so dont bother hasseling me, as i have already apoligised Thanks...

 

[Pompal 09.]

this one is the best!:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

[Andrea in La la Land]

Lol.........

 

[Hoofers]

nice collection Mac...