Review of April @ Allure (with a pit stop at IT)

[Shard]

(Pulls up to IT)

Rusty : Hey Paul

Paul : Hey Rusty. Alexis and Vanessa aren't working today

Rusty : Oh. What about Shauna? She is one wild and crazy hell cat. Rehhhhhhhhhhhh rehhhhhhhh

Paul : Rusty, settle down.

Rusty : Sorry Paul

Paul : Anyways, Shauna is not working today and you know the rest of the girls want nothing to do with you

Rusty : Yeah I know.So where should I go?

Paul : Why not try Allure? I hear its pretty good in the mix to the max

Rusty : Huh? Are you using my "in the mix to the max"?

Paul : Shut up and go to Allure

Rusty : Ok.Later Paul.

Paul : Bye

(Makes an appt. to see April at Allure)

Rusty : I hope this is good.It feels so weird being here.I feel like I am cheating on sweet lady IT

(April enters)

April : Rarrrrrrrrrrrr. Are you ready to rock?????

Rusty : I guess. Would you be able to put this blond wig on for me?

April : Why?

Rusty : That way at least you'll have the same hair colour as Alexis,Vanessa and Shauna.Would it also be ok if I called you by those names throughout the session?

April : No.

Rusty : Please. I'll give you this topless pic of Steve Buschemi that is also autographed

April : DEAL!!!!!!

Continued......

 

[pohakumaikai]

Come on Rusty, the suspense is killing me.

 

[Mnemonic]

Rusty : Owwwwwwwwww.What in the mix to the max are you doing?

April : Pouring steaming hot coffee over you bum,and then licking it off for you

Rusty : Wha???? (starts to cry) I am definitely not into this, in the mix to the max

April : Can I at least give it to you up your corn hole with this strap on?

Rusty : NO WAY!!!!! Might I remind you, I am here for a nice sensual massage, not to take part in your sadisitic S & M games

April : Shut up bitch.Now lie down and take it like a man

Rusty : This session is over, April. I think i've just had my first taste of the filthy side of this business. Good day

(Drives back to IT crying his eyes out,while listening to Michelle Branch)

Rusty : Oh Paul, it was horrible

Built blond guy : Paul's left for the day

Rusty : How come?

Built blond guy : Shift change, buddy,shift change

Rusty : Oh yeah. Can I please talk to you Built blond guy? I just had a horrible session at Allure

Built blond guy : No

Rusty : Please. I'll give you this bottle of JD and coke that I was planning on drinking alone in my basement

Built blond guy : DEAL!!!!!!!!

Rusty : Thanks alot

Built blond guy : No problem buddy.So what happend?

Rusty : Oh Built blond guy, it was horrible.I think I just had my first taste of the filthy side of this business.

Built blond guy : What did she do?

Rusty : She wanted to pour steaming hot coffee over my bum hole and proceed to lick it off.She also wanted to hump me with her strap on

Built blond guy : Hheheheheeheheheheh

(Sharon walks by the office)

Rusty : That Sharon is one fine peice of asssssssssssh. I should know dude, I speak from experience

Built blond guy : No you dont

Rusty : No, no I dont.But this friend of mine. He and her got it on. Woooooooooooooooooe

Built blond guy : No they didn't

Rusty : No, no they didn't.But you could imagine what it would be like if they did. Eh?

Built blond guy : (Rolls his eyes)

Rusty : Yuckey.This cocoa tastes like crap.

Built blond guy : What's the problem?

Rusty : Nothing.I just assumed they would make this cocoa with milk, not crap. That's all

Built blond guy : You are one of the doofiest doofuses I have ever met

Rusty : Thanks (smirks and blushes)

Built blond guy : It wasn't a compliement.

Rusty : Oh.So, do you want to go out for a fruit smoothie after workey?

Built blond guy : Hheheheheheheheeheh no

Rusty : Ok.Im gonna take off then.Later built blond guy

Built blond guy : Later buddy


****Credit to Black Kat Magic & The Raspoulean Love Monger.

 

[Shimmering]

sorry to hear about your bad luck....rusty


was it at least decaffinated coffee?

 

[curouis]

It was black coffee. Blacker than the blackest pubes on the blackest black man in the world.

 

[Rose]

April is great! Perhaps Rusty experienced hallucinations as a result of the tremendous session. Either way, I think he mistook the black coffee for April's knee high black boots. RRRRRRRRRRRR...

 

[Steffie]

ROTFLMAOWCOMBH !!!!

 

[h2opolochik1]

poolie

what does "WCOMBH" stand for...


With Cum On My Bare Hands....?????

 

[mommy dreamer]

Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off while coughing out my butt hole?

 

[aholm]

Rusty...

Either you're off your meds again...or I need to get some of what you're on!

Whacked as usual, dude! Very funny stuff.
Steve Buscemi and Michelle Branch in one post!
"..and the Creative Writing award goes to..."

Ciao,
Bone.

 

[Delauria]

No kidding Bone! I have to try to get some of them for the upcoming long weekend. It looks like it would definately lighten the mood.

 

[ILuvAnimals]

Rusty... maaan.. u were lucky.. I can tell ... April I MISS YOU. C U SOON.

 

[Mega T]

I appreciate your eye for detail.

PS When is massageplanet.net going to get the oh so popular pizza slice emoticon?

 

[smudge]

If massageplanet.net had pizza slice emoticons, I doubt any flame wars would ever materalize.Fred, the choice is obvious. Bring in the pizza slice emoticons.