Senility Prayer

[Breakmanz]

| > Senility Prayer
| >
| >God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the
| >good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the
| >difference.
| > Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've
| >discovered:
| >
| >1 - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
| > 2 - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
| > 3 - I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
| > 4 - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
| > 4 - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
| > 5 - All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
| > 6 - If all is not lost, where the hell is it?
| > 7 - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
| > 8 - Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
| > 9 - I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
| > 10 - Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
| > 11 - Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
| > 12 - It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
| > 13 - The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
| > 14 - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
| > 15 - When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
| > 16 - It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.
| > 17 - The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
| > 18 - These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
| > 19 - What were we talking about?
| > 20 - Oh well, send it to a bunch of your friends...if you can remember who they are.