She doesn't try as hard because you are a regular

[Riff Raff]

Has this happened to you? You've seen this girl a few times, really like her, but lately find that she's not really trying as hard to please you because you're seeing her out of habit anyway, the sessions are still good but you're getting the "going thru the motions" vibes. As mentioned, you like her a lot and has no plan to stop seeing her, what's the best approach to let her know your feelings without ruining the session and the rapport that's been built?

 

[AlwaysDepressed]

You kidding me? As a regular, you should be getting BETTER service, she should be trying HARDER, not less. You are a freaking good catch, so you'd better damn well be treated as such.

What should you do - I say leave, there has to be better. If she ain't trying as hard, then you are obviously a little bit unhappy about it , so why continue?

If you married her, I could understand all too well...

 

[martinrcota]

I think this happens more often then we think. The best advice I can give you is to tell her the truth. This way both parties are honest about expectations. Because the worst thing in this hobby is to have false expectations from both parties. You expecting the same service, and the MPA expecting you to give her a break. Let's not forget what you are there for. The only other thing I can think of is if you give her the cold shoulder next time and hope she picks up on it and tries to impress you more on your next visit. I have had this happen and what I did was provide her with the best massage she has ever gotten and made her feel bad about using the whole sessions time on her. Then the next time you visit she remembers and repays you, hopefully that is. Any decent MPA would...

 

[Questions]

I'd suggest either taking a break from her she may appreciate you more with a bit of an absence. Or just let her know "I really liked it when you did X,Y,Z could you do that again?" Or how about saying "I really like aspects A, B, C of your sessions."

Can't see how she'd be offended if you let her know your preference. Just don't tell her how you felt about the last few massages.

 

[regina]

Crazy,

I've had this happen to me, and, I feel bad about the session.

I've wondered if it's me, or is it the girl, or both?

Do I need a break from the girl? Should we have some space? Go see some other MPA's for a while?

Then I open up another bottle of Shiraz and I don't let it bother me!

Joke aside, saying anything to the girl(s) won't accomplish anything. And, everyone has a bad day occasionally.

Try nibbling on some new bait for a while, and hopefully that'll cure the winter blues.

Remember, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". (or is it, "Absence makes the wallet thicker"?)

Al Cohol

 

[Roadrunnermike]

There's always the possibility that she's not into seeing you anymore and is lowering the standard of service hoping you will go away. I'm not saying that's the case in your particular circumstances, but if I noticed the service getting worse, I'd head elsewhere. There are waayyyy too many fish in the MP sea.

 

[Izzy r]

yeah, it happens

I tried the "hard to get" routine, which was actually just a result of my realisation the sessions were becoming passive and repetitive. When I finally saw her again she was more actively "aggressive".

Her: We can do it this way again next time
Me : *silly smirk*

I've also tried asking what's up with the lack of alphabet. It just seems that many MPAs get into a comfort zone and although over time we may get more letters, they tend to become less creative, assertive and/or enthusiastic with the "action".

 

[Fairytale]

I think you'll find more than a few girls/women who are 'tuggers with some issues based around insecurities. And, just as in real life, once they have proven to themselves they are "wanted" / "needed" (ie. you coming back for more), they need to move onto the next proof.

kkarn/

 

[Leo]

the "V" word

 

[borderbethie]

agree with most of the above.

Logical answer is to back off for a month or two - hey, the sessions suck anyway, might as well try someone else.

When you go back, though, there's a CHANCE that the mileage may be LOWER - I've had this once or twice. Not so much to "get back" at you, but because some of the smart chicks get a bit scared from time to time and have periods of lower standards.

Ivana's the most famous example!

 

[RodiKenley]

Yep, I agree with the others RE: taking time off.

I did so with one MPA and when the service was still so-so after a month apart I decided it was time to call it a day.

In a second example I didn't see a different MPA for several weeks coz she went away on vacation. Our "reunion" session was one of our BEST EVER, so of course I'm hoping the same happens for you

 

[Haken]

Make an appointment at the MP with ANOTHER girl when you know she is working.

Hopefully she sees you and when she does, and expect your cash to be hers, just say, "Oh hi, nice to see you, but I am here to see trixie today, but it was nice seeing you"

 

[1993]

It's kinda fucked up that so many have had this experience, but them's the breaks when dealing with humans. Maybe if instead of taking a break and having to play strategy "games" we just came out and said "I think we need a break from each other" and see how she reacts. It may be she's willing to put the effort into "making things work" ... heheh

I dunno ... it just seems to me that primaraly [on the surface at least] we are paying for action, and sometimes taking a break means ya have to "catch up on conversing" which cuts into "action time". I know most MPAs and many clients generally like to ease into the session, but when we are paying for it, it should in essence be, "lights, camera, action" especially if you are paying for top option.

There does seem to be a period with some MPAs, although it varies, where they get satisfaction out of being able to blow your mind/freak ya out around sessions 2,3,4,5, and then it levels out ... then to some degree they either coast, burn our or get comfortable. I think it's because we allow it or even encourage it inadvertently. Maybe that initial magic can never be again ... yeah, there's lots of salmon in the trees, but some chicks just do it for ya.

 

[CK MODELE]

I think wording is the key, focus on what you liked and let her know those are the things you want. But stay away from saying you're board, going to see someone else or whatever. Back a person into a corner and you are unlikely to get a positive response.

 

[SF kid]

It's also possible that the firswt session was very good (which is why we end up going back) , and in fact so good that we keep thinking about it. In our own imagination we might be 1) either start imagining it to be better than what it was, or 2) re-calibrate our expectations - either way setting us up for a let down the next time around. In short, I am suggesting that our own mind might be playing a game with us - so that we feel let down by the same exact service the second time over. I am not saying that this is what happened in your case, but it might be one possibility worth considering (I think it has happened to me more than once).

 

[folk]

With one of my favourite now-retired MPA's... the one who took my massage virginity in fact... I started to experience this same thing.

We had clicked from Day 1 and connected on at least a couple of levels. She opened up a bit and she'd tell me about a lot of things in her personal life. I respected her, and she respected my advice most of the time.

After a while, it started to get the way you described. Repetitive. Monotonous. The meeting and back massage were still great, because we'd carry on like old friends, but after the flip she'd clam up - not say a word - and just race it until the end. I asked what was wrong.

She said a lot of very nice things. I won't repeat them all for fear of getting flamed but the Reader's Digest version was "I can't put on the big show anymore. You know me too well. I know you to well."

She'll still always be my favourite. Maybe because of that. I'm glad she got out.

 

[ScroogexJones]

She's a very nice and amazing person, I'm sure she's not trying to get rid of me. Like someone said, I think it was the vaunted wise man Pool, she's coasting. I'm part of the problem, I always leave with a big smile, she must think that I'm completely satisfied, guess I'm a good actor, unfortunately. I think this is a common problem, after 3, 4 times, most MPAs think you are happy just because you are with them, they forget how eager they try to please you on the first time to get you to repeat. I'll consider some of the good suggestions from you guys, thanks.

P.S. Lovers of Brunettes, that's a touching post. I, too, love brunettes.

 

[fancy_argonaut]

This quote is very true.

When I see a particular client on a long-term basis - and eventually develop a real friendship....I begin to feel that putting on the "big show" is too fake.

I bet I'm not the only girl who feels this way with particular clients.....

Maybe it's not that she doesn't appreciate your money....maybe she actually cares about you as a person and feels weird putting on an act....

 

[Ellis Bontellis]

I have a favorite MPA that I see in NF. I've been seeing her every 4-5 weeks for almost 4 years now, and this has'nt been a problem....For me, it just seems to get better.....