Signs of a bad massage to come!

[Eleni]

Of course, I had to post the opposite.
(Slightly exaggerated for your reading enjoyment)
LOL

1. Your mpa greets you in the room by saying
"You again, you pervert!"

2. She thinks she met you at the mental
institution she just escaped from

3. While waiting in the room, you over hear
her ask for test results

4. During the session, LE comes in and she
screams "Daddy, how did you find me?" (He He)

5. Wants to know, in your honest opinion,
if you can tell she was a guy before.

6. She says "Release? What release?"

7. As she's getting undressed, she tells you
the story of her difficult and intense labor with
her last 5 children. (He He)

8. Your mpa smells and she has not even
yet undressed.

9. She wants to get comfortable before the session
and off comes the wig, false teeth, colored contacts
and a belch.

10. You can't help but notice your mpa scratching
at her crotch and breast milk seeping through her
shirt as she books you in.

P.S. When I wrote the(He He) it meant I was bursting
at the seams laughing and could hardly finish typing.

 

[powder junkie]

When the MPA walk into the room and says, "I hate what you wrote about me on massageplanet.net"

When MPA says to you, "You don't mind if I talk on my cellphone during the session do you?"

MPA says, "My 250lb Bouncer boyfriend would kill anyone that laids a hand on me."

She says, "You better have money because I'm not cheap..."

She ask, "What do you mean you don't want any extras?"

She tells you that she doesn't want to be touch ANYWHERE.

She tells you to get that cheeky ass on the table and she wasn't joking.

She says, "I am having a bad day. Have to come into work..."

 

[Beckey]

MPA tells you that you remind her of her lousy ex-BF/SO.

 

[the doctor of thugonomics]

She's 5 minutes into the session when she announces "Damn, I've just got to go out and borrow a tampon from my girlfriend."

 

[Gala]

Goodtime, your imagination matches mine. Yes matches,
not exceeds. He He.

 

[Starjumper the R&S Cow]

The biggest warning sign for me....

Wanting money up front . Always a bad sign.

 

[Brenda Yim]

Your Mom/Sister/Daughter is the MPA.
Unless, of course, you are in Tennesse

 

[kaynoxdemon]

This has several parts that all tie together ...

You try to book your fav MPA only to find out she is booked solid and decide to try another MPA ...

You walk in the same time that the delivery guy for dinner does and she tells you she will be in there in a minute as she pulls out food and starts eating it.

When she comes into the room 20 minutes later you smell the onions on her breath from across the room.

A few minutes into the session you thought you heard something only to realise a few seconds later that she let go a SBD "Silent But Deadly."

She accuses you of the fart right away !!!

The smell of a bad fart mixed with bad breath is so bad you have problems getting it up and decide to skip the happy ending.

You take a shower to wash away the oil and realise that the steam mixed with the already pungent odour is just way too much.

As you finish dressing, she comes back in and opens the door wide, your fav MPA in the hallway looks directly at you and has already decided that you are the cause !!!

VBB

 

[Moe]

As she is getting undressed you notice a skid mark in her panties that looks like she must have been going about 90 when it happened.

As your taking a shower she is french braiding the hairs on her legs.

 

[Kernow Lady]

Food in teeth, half missing, others stained. Hairy armpits, legs worse. Couldn't see most of this lying face down. Mr. Happy not so happy. Found myself withered on the flip with no possibility of recovery. She says, "So, you want a head massage instead, Joe?". Got up and left with Amy promising a better session next time. Gee, thanks.

My mileage varied that day.

Jack.

 

[Kat...tis I look closer]

Getting payment up front ensures getting paid.
I don't conclude that to mean that you will
get a bad massage. Many, many, many,many
clients will rip you off if given the opportunity.
Same goes for some mpa's.

This isn't a problem in the well established, well
run spa's, but there are spa's run poorly,
where owner's are absent, girls/client's are
transient, and you can feel that in the atmosphere.
The type of management in a spa depicts
the type of customers in a spa, depicts the
type of girls in a spa. Lousy mpa's with poor
attitude's and even poorer massages would
not last in some of the well run spa's often
mentioned here on massageplanet.net.
However, being the diplomat that I am, I
understand the client's feelings when
you enter an MP, choose a girl you like,
sit naked in a room, and are asked for money
right away. It takes a lot away from the mood.

 

[Zoey is getting so big!]

This is a sign of a great massage if she's got an evil grin on her face...

 

[trohmaniacs]

Are you police officer!

 

[Cliff Jumper]

...and squats on top of you....then asks "do you want to get kinky?"

 

[lesley.mullin]

Not to be too mean, just 2 words ...

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