Silly five minutes

[ragsScarkinia]

How many Spiritualists does it take to change a light bulb? None - they prefer to work in the dark!

"All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my right hand" - Ronnie Corbett

Two psychic healers meet in the street - "You're fine - how am I?"

What did the Zen master say to the purveyor of hot dogs?
"Make me one with everything" - Reader's Digest

What do you call a motor bike belonging to a witch ?
A broooooooom stick !

Was Dracula ever married ?
No, he was a bat-chelor!

What do you get if you cross a vampire with Al Capone ?
A fangster !

Why are skeletons usually so calm ?
Nothing gets under their skin !

What do vampires gamble with ?
Stake money !

What sort of group do vampires join ?
A blood group !

Why do skeletons hate winter ?
Beacuse the cold goes right through them !

What do you call an old and foolish vampire ?
A silly old sucker !

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ?
The girl necks door !

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite...

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

Why don't skeletons go out on the town?
Because they have no body to go out with...

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're too wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead end streets ...

What does daddy ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

How does a ghost go on holiday?
By scareplane...

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
bloodhounds...


Halloween Daffynitions

Coffin:
What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat.

Frankenstein:
Hot dog and a mug of beer.

Full moon:
What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your fridge.

Goblin:
How you eat the snickers bars you got for Halloween.

Boogieman:
Guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.

Invisible Man:
What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done.
Also, see Mr. Hyde.

Jack O' Lantern:
An Irish Pumpkin.

Jack the Ripper:
What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week.

Mummy:
Who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.

Pumpkin Patch:
What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking.

Skeleton:
Any supermodel.

Vampire Bat:
What Dracula hits a baseball with.

Zombie:
What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee.