in love with a bargirl... big question here

[loraine]

See it this way Waharoa. We have 20 years experience acting like we're in our twenties

 

[lilharibo]

I can see why you think that, but Les1999, the guy you are addressing, has a GF he has been with exclusively for years now. His TG is not a young girl, and he is not a sexual tourist. Far from it.

 

[LittleFoot]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Baz! You're being evil again! 5555555

Anyway, I had a bugle once in the Scouts! 13th Rochdale Pack, bloody good we were too!

 

[rugger]

OMG, it sounds like you have opened your eyes finally . I have followed this thread with interest. Lots of good advice, and some harsh remarks. I can relate to your situation, because on my first trip I found a girl I stayed with an entire week. She also didn't ask for any money, but I payed her anyway. Information from this very board had given me valuable insight that I would otherwise not have been aware of. Good luck to you. Hope it works out.

 

[mabisking26]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm- I wonder how this relationship will work out 5555555555555. Don't some con artists play the 'long' as opposed to the 'short' game. Call me cynical but I am! I tried not tor reply on relationship threads but i just can't help it anymore- so many people are driven by little brain not big brain.

 

[BiGstylin]

welcome to thailand my friend!

 

[27PurpleRoses]

Has it been 20 years? Oh... My... God... :cheers:

 

[northernredneck65]

Doubtless OMG will chalk me up as another of those old cynics who can go fug themselves, but I haven't read anything from him that wasn't about him and his ego.

He meets a bar girl, who in his eyes transforms from near virgin (4 customers) to reprehensible trollop (10 customers). She does the unthinkable to him, and actually has a social life that you'd expect of a 19 year old. At the end of it all, he throws up his arms and says "There's no helping these people!"

In essence, he's no different to any of the other young guys you see on the boards, boasting that "You old guys have to pay for it, a young stud like myself gets it for free." He's sugar-coated it with an entertaining love story, but it boils down to the same thing. "I'm a guy in my twenties, I don't have to pay for sex." So why was he - and all those other dashing blades - picking up bar girls? I'm sure there are plenty of educated, attractive Thai women who would be delighted with their company. Or maybe not. Again, if OMG isn't a sex tourist, why is he picking up bar girls? At least be honest with yourself, if not other people.

The writing was on the wall for me when he started talking about 'shuddering at her touch' when he found out that she'd actually had a reasonable amount of customers. Does that sound like a man who was ever going to bring the girl home to meet his parents? That could have withstood the inevitable jokes and jibes that would come his way in the future. Say what you like about the cynical old 'haters', they tend to care less about other people's opinions regarding their choice of partner.

The whole thing has been an ego-trip for OMG from start to finish. He meets a BG and falls in love, which is handy for him because it enables him to tell himself that he's somehow different from those paunchy middle-aged old white men he sees all around him. He buys her story that she's two and a half minutes in the job and has barely so much as looked at another man, because that fits his dream of saving an innocent beauty. She tells him the truth that she's been rather more successful at her job, because she figures he likes her for who she is, and is mature enough to take it. Wrong call. It ruins the little storyline going on in his head.

From that moment onwards, he's looking for a way out. The young woman, with inbuilt female antennae that quickly deduce as much, goes out, drinks with her friends and goes dancing. OMG's get-out clause is there for him and he takes it.

Now I'm not suggesting OMG is insincere, far from it. He just had a Thai version of Pretty Woman in his head and it got all spoilt when she turned out to be a bit more real than Julia Roberts. The girl on the other hand maybe momentarily thought that someone might see beyond her circumstances and quickly figured out when he didn't.

Nor am I suggesting that relationships with bar girls don't work, because obviously they do sometimes. But if and when she does meet someone who's willing to accept her, it's more likely to be one of those cynical old haters than some young guy who thinks that he's a knight in shining armor, whose lance any woman would be proud to polish for free.

 

[J J]

I am sorry to say, but this is like the thread from last year.. What was his name.. Oh yea, Chris88 that was it. He said he was a good looking bloke, did not go for the girls in the P4P Area, but liked to drink in it.
He also said he did not pay for 5ex with girls and some of the never asked for money. I can remember a few saying good for you, you are young and also, bad on you for not paying the girl. Now I dont know everything there is on Thailand, but one thing I do know.. If you take a girl from any bar, she will want some money..... But for 10 days and not paying a thing other than food... I am sorry, She works in a bar.. Pay her some money


But then again, maybe she does really like you and wants to start a relationship. Wish you luck whatever you choose to do

 

[Mommy_of_3_boys]

I actually have my doubts you are even in Thailand with the times of your postings. I certainly have better things to do when in Los on my hols than sit on a computer all night long :zzz:

 

[Vannah R]

I'm doing this tonight on my computer!





:love3: :^^: :love3: :^^:

 

[rorpino]

If she lives with OMG in Phukettown, he will cover the everyday expenses, as I understand it. She will get a job. If she is short, she can ask for a little pocket money. Isn't that the way most young couples do it? If she chooses to leave the bar, and be his GF, then she is not a BG anymore. If she gets a job, then she will have income to help her family. How they work out their budget is up to them, as it is with any young couple, be it in LOS, or anywhere in the world. This is the sort of thing that young couples figure out as they go along.

 

[ShAdOwGiRl:[]

haha, my sentiments exactly :cheers:

 

[Angeline L]

You say "she knows you have money" there you go. She will want you to take care of her, then when her your money is gone, she will move onto the next guy. Thats what I think anyway - my personal opinion.

 

[alby]

a mon avis, c'est mieux de payer et s'amuser en Thailand. J'ai passer 26 mois la et j'ai jamais de probleme. Tu vas payer d'une manier ou d'un autre. Les Thais connaisse leur business. Bonne Chance!

 

[Emily G]

Im saying go for it. Things are working out well for Ning & I so far and it was much the same situation.

If it was me I would give her a minimum of 5000B and let her go and by some of the things girls like to buy. A dress or two, she can go to the salon get her hair and nails done, eat when and where she wants, visit friends and so forth. She will see that you really do care!

At this seforum.xxxe she is probably stressing a little and wondering whether she is doing the right thing, and where her next baht will come from.

Good luck!

 

[???????????]

Did you blow it out your ass Khun Denpah?

 

[nicepuddin]

OMG ....A guitar topic :thumbsup:

I've seen this one on utube and was wondering since a couple of month whether it's fake or not.

One thing is for sure, the finger work is absolutely amazing and this version sounds way cleaner
than the original from Malmsteen...

Makes you wanna pick up a guitar again te: te: te: :rules:


[youtube]aiyrfRNVG_o[/youtube]

 

[Sea]

Relax its called living.

Give her a call? Maybe she still likes you. bonne chance....

 

[Pashy]

With respect OMG, please read Phil's post again. What he's saying to you is that, on a semi-regular basis, we get young studs like yourself who post on the board to say that - because they're so devilishly hansum - they don't have to pay for nookie. The point is that a bar girl always expects to be paid for nookie. The only exception might be if you've known for her a while and taken her for a few meals etc without trying to get into her knickers. In other words, unless you have treated her like a regular girl. I believe us old haters would call it 'courting a lady'. Shagging and not paying isn't courting. It's theft.

You see, it's a tough enough existence working as a bar girl without having to ask for the screamingly obvious - payment. Some girls - especially newbies such as yours - might actually be embarrassed about asking for payment. It shouldn't need to be said. It's bad enough selling your body for sex without having to say "Excuse me, I'm a wh0re, where's my money?" Or she might think that you'll see her for a few days and settle up at the end. Or that you might shower her with gifts as payment-in-kind. But to be so puffed up with your own ego to believe that a working girl would say to you "You're such a stallion that I will forgo my usual fee. Hey handsome, this one's on the house." Try that with a h00ker in your own country and tell us what happens.

Many Thai women are discrete and non-confrontational. Others can cut your nuts off with a look. A relative newcomer such as your honey may have felt it awkward to ask for money. That doesn't mean she doesn't expect it. As Dan points out, a girl that new to the game is unlikely to be heavily sponsored and giving out freebies. Nor is she likely to have enough stashed away to take care of her family and be fْcking for fun.

In fact, from where I sit the only reason I can think that she wouldn't want the money would be that she thought she'd met a guy who would take her away from a bar girl life. And that is the saddest scenario of all. Because for all the talk of love, you never had any intention of making a life with her. You recoiled at her touch because she'd had ten customers. Fْck me, I've known English and Irish girls who'd rack up the same number on holiday.

You wanted to sleep with a no-holes-barred, rides-like-a-bunny bar girl, but you didn't want to ruin your self-image by admitting to yourself that you, as a twenty-something man, had to pay for sex. You were never going to have the maturity or strength of character to introduce her to friends and family. So we get this strange, short tale of love lost and how she 'disappointed' you. She's the one that got disappointed. She may have even thought for a moment that you were serious. And you're still telling yourself that you were.

Even now, you're calling her a liar. For what? Having a life? Making a living and making up for 3 weeks without a baht to her name? The hussy! She's keeping body and soul together. You, my friend, are not the wronged party in all this.