in love with a bargirl... big question here

[WTFYW?LDG!]

Am I jelaous? Well, if thinking that it sure would be nice, if I were 20+ yrs younger, counts as being jealous, then I'm guilty as charged. But then, if I were that young, I would be happily married with a farang wife, and not taking trips to LOS!

And, actually, I can remember well when I was in my 20's thinking, "It's not fair that the old guys have all the money!" Guess I was a bit jealous then, as well. The grass is always greener......55555.....:intello:

 

[Kratos]

I love these posts of his as well.

He's so sensible about these things, we should call him "down to urtheman".

He's an eternal optimist when it comes to romance. (I'm with him...let the girl work the bar for drinks only, or even cashier, then GO FOR IT.) :intello:

 

[Melissa Swan]

I agree... What you say makes a lot of sense and i'll stop paranoi.

I decided i will go for it. I have nothing to lose. I won't pay her to **** her, but i'll continue to bring her to the restaurant, cinema etc...

Thanks everybody, i needed help.

 

[starfrappe]

So true, as the old saying goes, If you want to know me, come live with me...

 

[Pompal 09.]

It's possible. You will probably never know if she told you the truth or not. When guys buy drinks for a girl, it is usually because they want to **** them. But not all guys who buy drinks for a girl, wants to **** them. Some guys are just generous, and enjoy the company of a pretty lady.


I once had a friend who I often BFed, but never slept with. She had a BF in England, who she was faithful to. The first time I BFed her, she said, "Oh, you shouldn't have paid the BF, because I can't sleep with you." I wanted to **** her then, but when she explained her situation, after a little cajoling did not work, then I accepted her for herself, and that I liked her company. I BFed her often, to go to dinner or the disco, and sometimes took her with me to get massages for both of us. She became my best friend in Patong, and I would sometimes take a girl to meet her to get her opionion of them, and other times she would pick out girls for me. Really, after we became close, I had no desire to **** her anymore, and, even the thought of it was repulsive to me, she was like my sister then. However, I never paid her money directly, although she made money on LDs I bought her and on her share of the BF. She did get a small salary from the bar she worked at, and the following year became a bartender there. But, if I were a more generous guy than I am, maybe I would have given her 1000 Baht for her time. Who knows? Some guys are very generous.

The lady did tell me, though, that she once in awhile, was unfaithful to her BF, but only with a few customers that she had known before she met him. She claimed that her BF was aware of that, but I was a little skeptical of that claim. She also said she had slipped up a couple of times, because she had a thing for black guys, and lost control on a couple of occasions, when she drank too much, and the guy was too charming. Her BF also was black.

I think that the important thing is not so much whether you believe her, but whether you want to be with her. By letting her work in the bar, you are putting her in a bad situation. When a girl, who comes from a life of poverty, is getting paid to drink, gets a bit intoxicated, and has someone waving serious money in her face, so to speak, there is a good chance she will slip up once in awhile. Like any girl, she is human. Would you like her better, if she were an android? :beurk:

 

[thorn105]

OMG, you're 24. Why would you want to commit to one girl when you are so young and can have just about any you want?

 

[charles w]

I can fully understand why, if a guy thinks that he may be falling in love with a girl, and wants to keep open the option that his relationship with her may be more than business, and may turn into a real long-term relationship leading to marriage, why he then does not want to pay her.

At some juncture, all relationships with women involve money, if they go far enough down the line. In LOS, the money/love connection arises a lot sooner in a relationship than in Europe/America. In the West, we try to dispense with that at the beginning, and leave it for later, when things get serious. But not entirely, because in most Western dating, the guy picks up the tab, which can be a lot more money than going with a BG, as we all know. Still, at the outset, I can see why a guy would want to keep things on a feeling basis, to try to assess the real feelings, his own and hers, without having them shaded by monetary factors. If the relationship develops into a successful one, the money matters will arise soon enough.

However, if the relationship turns out to only be temporary, because he decides it wasn't "meant to be," or for any other reason, then the decent thing to do would be to give her a big bonus before they part ways, as thanks for the time spent together, and a demonstration that he was really sincere in pursuing the relationship. It just evens up the karma a bit, because to live with him, she is giving up a lot financially, but he is not, and the money involved would not be a very significant sum to him, but would be large to her.

 

[Breakupandlove]

Sleep around a bit more and spend time with other Bg then see if she will fit in with your lifestyle back home. As Dupree00 says have the time of your life ,pay her and head back to Canada and do not settle for one just yet!

 

[Chad_1_1]

I'm pretty much a cynic myself these days. But guess I'm not quite eligible for the Hard Core Cynics Club membership just yet. :

But I will give you this, you do have a good sense of humor! :intello:

 

[charles w]

Wait, if i read my post again it says:

**** update ****
Ok, its been like 12-13 days we are together and still, i haden't give her 1$.


There is like 10 post that says i'm proud of it and blablabla. I think you guys are just jealous. Why this reaction to think i want to be proud?

LOL i make this post to explain my situation and after have advices. Do i want to ''prove'' myself on a sexual tourism forum? mmmmm no

Why i came on this forum to ask advices? Because i thought that people with experience can help me with good answers. And yes we can say that i was a sexual tourist because this night i wanted to pay a girl for sex.

Do i hate older people? no.. when i came here, i knew the people was older than me and i respect them when they respect me. A ''old'' guy (older than me) can be a good looking guy and hook up a lot of ladys and he can help me with good answers.

Did i say i never pay for sex? mmmm yes, cause this night was the only first time i wanted to pay for sex but it happend that i didin't pay.

so what is your ****ing problem you haters? You just are jealous thats it

 

[Jimmy]

You do realise Phuket is one big brothel right? I dare you to walk into any brothel back home... sleep with a girl and then refuse to pay...

we aren't being nasty here. We just want you to enjoy yourself without getting hung up on emotions... think of it this way... if this girl sees you every day for 6 months and you never pay her... how does she live? Also in all probability... her family back home relies on you (the customer) for money as well...

 

[HELP WANTED]

OMG , the clue is in the title to your thread ' in love with a bargirl... big question here '

Bargirls expect to be paid........

 

[Shallow Abyss]

If you're not paying her, and she's hot, chances are six way to Sunday that she'll be short timing behind your back.

How else will she send money home?

Think about it. If you won't pay her, you may be getting sloppy seconds as a resullt... even if she doesn't want to sleep with other guys.

Also, to some Thais, 'I've only worked in the bar for 3 weeks' could mean many things. It could be the truth, or mean only 3 weeks this year, only 3 weeks in this bar, only 3 weeks in Phuket, or she just made it up. I'd bet this part of the story is not 100% acurate.

I believe the bit that she want's to quit.

But she'll still need money.

Unless you want to marry her, I say move on. Just my opinion

 

[guachimansito]

man, sounds like as when the girls did what they should do and they catched you up and you can not bring them out of your mind..man.....its tooooo late...... u r in the middle of love......u can only stop it by leaving and looking for other girls

 

[Pompal 09.]

When I was that age I was married. And happy! Sure there were times when I walked around with my tongue hanging out drooling, or driving down the street almost getting into accidents, because of turning my head to ogle a great ass or great rack, and constantly looking at girls and getting a hard-on.

But at the end of the day, I was happy to be in the sack with my pretty wife, who treated me well in those days. The occasional roll in the hay with the odd girl I might get lucky with would not have been worth all the nights spent alone. Why settle for once a week or twice a month sex, when I was getting the good stuff every day? I was way too horny to not have sex every day, so I was happy that I had a good one. And, really, in those days, I could not in the wildest stretch of my imagination imagine not having her there in my world every day! It was that good.

Of course, I wasn't in LOS, where you could have a different girl every day, if you like. But I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing for a young guy. The thing is that love is a drug. When you get hooked, it just feels great. How can you love a different girl every night.When I was that age, sex was always great. But love can be great, too, so why not have both?

 

[Eh-Lee]

Reading this thread is like reading a womens magazine.

enuf said.

 

[KookiePenny]

With pics of Johnny Depp, of course.

 

[Kar]

i will start of by saying that everygirl and every situation is different..but..nothing what you have described sounds that different. Girls don't always ask for money..i imagine that some find it as hard asking for money as some men giving it..also i think that some girls hope if they don't ask for money and try to make out that they do really enjoy staying with you it will make the guy fall for them more and hopefully in the long run = more money!!!

ps...the question you asked about how many guy she sleep with....Bullshit!!!

 

[Jeniffer S]

So I guess that all the blokes in thier 30's 40's 50's and above that are married of in a LT relationship with a 20 year old BG are continually wondering if she thinks her life wouldn't be that much better with someone her own age?

No wonder the girlies all wolf whistle when I walk past?? :bad:

 

[junkyarddogfan]

Nothing cynical about what is being advised.....55555555