Need advice: I'm a MPA starting to fall in love/lust?? with a LE officer!!

[Boomer Wisdom]

Have not read through the whole thread, but have to wonder why you are asking the girls if they are single. If knowing they have a bf will kill the session for you, then dont ask. You are paying for a fantasy, dont ask personal questions that could ruin it for you, or put the girl in a position where she may feel the need to lie to maintain the fantasy.

The idea that these girl will be honest in every way about their life as they give you, a stranger to them, a hj, is a bit of a stretch.

 

[ASAD]

Hi fellow massageplanet.netites. This is my first post. I'm over at my friend's house right now and she's sick and tired of my blabbering so she told me to come here.

I'm at a loss as to what to do. I'm a MPA. And recently, I started having feelings for a LE officer. I know, this sounds totally pathetic, but I just can't stop thinking about him. And yes, he knows what I do. It all started when I started having dreams of him at night. I had them twice so far. Nothing sexual in the dreams, just that he was there. Now, I always think of him.

To complicate matters more, I already have a boyfriend whom I love a lot. We hit a rough time about 2 years ago when I found out he was hitting on my best friend but we managed to patch things up and we are still together right now. She was the one who told me and I knew she was telling the truth because when I confronted him, the look in his eyes told me everything. BUT, forgiving him is one thing, forgetting is another. How do you really forget something like that? No one can imagine the humiliation I felt when he did that.

Anyways, I never thought I could start to have feelings for someone else. But now I do. So my question is: Do you guys think it's possible for a MPA to have a relationship with a LE officer? I mean, there's for sure going to be a HUGE imbalance of power. And what would his fellow co-workers think? I'm just so confused right now.

 

[Pompal 09.]

So true. And I speak from personal experience. Your destiny is in your hands! As Telus's slogan, the future is friendly.

-------------------------------------------------
Ok, except when in midst of a MP session, in which case, MPA controls and hold our destiny...

 

[YooHoo]

I agree whole heartedly, though this was an interesting thread!!!!!!!

But Paul I never thought of you as the religous type.

 

[lovelyartist]

I always thought Sheik was gorgeous in a hagas smelling, wart-on-the-side-of-my-dick, rough boy sort of way.

 

[blahh 90210 is on]

Hey Leah,

I dated a mpa who had dated a by-law officer. In fact, the by-law officer was the one who asked her out.

Just be yourself. If you have feelings for him, just ask him out the next time you see him. Just tell him you'd like to go for coffee to get to know him. To him, it'll be quite the compliment. If he's a dog, he'll do it to want to shag you. If he's a gentleman, well, then the both of you will have a fun and interesting time getting to know each other.

Just be real. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[GreenKitteh: Being Green]

how did u meet this le officer?

 

[Barkley Hound]

This thread is so long and tiering it's starting over again!

 

[trai]

Good things about the boyfriend: He's a hunk.
Bad things about the boyfriend: He went on a date with your friend, asked for a second date, and never told you about it. You only found out because of your friend. He actually TOLD you what you were going to do if you were pregnant. It would be great if he were happy about a baby, but at the very least he should support you and have a discussion about it. And finally, he doesn't seem willing to mention anything about a serious commitment.

Unless you're leaving out some stuff, he's a loser. Dump his ass.

As for the LE guy, it sounds like you've never even talked to him extensively. There has been no indication that he has even expressed an interest.

 

[Thursday]

You're tell her to stick with a guy with no balls to stand-up, runf from responsibility. His reaction, Abort! WTF. Only interested in her for sex, imo but who am I to judge?

 

[Lushbabe4ever]

Just a question Leah, but do you think your going to get some sound advice about this topic from the rest of us here. First of all we're mostly guys, and second of all (no offence intended as I implicate myself as well) we are all pervs, and some deviants. Not greatly deviant, but definitely deviant.

 

[Harry O]

You obviously have a hidden agenda.

It kills the fantasy for you if you know they have a b/f? Then why do you ask them? Are you asking because you're looking for a g/f?

If it bothers you so much, why even ask if they have a b/f?

As far as them talking about their relationships, what do you expect them to talk about after you ask them if they have a b/f?

They're probably feeling awkward because you're asking them about personal stuff, thus are instantly uncomfortable with you, so they start talking about relationship stuff with you to ensure that you're turned off and will not return to see them.

 

[Stoic]

If your guy was simply hitting on another woman, that should be forgiveable if he's genuinely contrite about it. Your relationship should be pretty good if you were able to get past a problem like that.
But if you still can't get over that incident, you might have to move on. Just remember the grass is greener over the fence, don't toss someone who accepts your job so readily. Cops are known for having unstable relationships.

 

[Elly]

I just suddenly had a Deja Vu of New Years Eggy... Scary.

 

[helterskeltergoneawry]

A question or two and some advice.

1. How did you meet the LE officer? While working? Elsewhere?
2. Define "hitting" on your gf. Was he straight-out telling her to hop into bed with him or was he only flirting?

With respect to your bf, you need to figure that out BEFORE considering this LE dude. An incident 2 years ago is either forgotten about or will never be forgotten about. You can't still hold it against him now. If you've forgiven him, you HAVE TO put the past behind you. It's the past. He has changed. But if you can't get over it, you HAVE TO dump him. You can't have a successful on-going relationship if you're always going to hold the past against him.

If you decide to stick with the bf, forget about the LE dude. Don't see him again on any level. There will always be something more tempting than what you currently have. As mentioned in the previous post, the grass is always greener. Early impressions are almost always positive - only once you get into something do you find out the negatives - and EVERYONE has their negatives. And "newness" is naturally exciting, but as I'm sure you know, it wears off. Again, if you do love what you have with your bf, don't risk it. You may never get it back otherwise.

But if you do decide to dump the bf, go out for coffee with the LE guy. Tell him how you feel. Discuss with him your concerns and his expectations. After all, if it's going to be a successful relationship, it's gotta start with honesty and communication. If you don't like his answers, better to find out early on rather than 6 months into it.

Best of luck to you... and keep us posted.

 

[geeko]

Leah, you gotta keep the faith that you and your LE lover can make things work.

I just recently had a session with a charming young wman by the name of Tarah, over at Platinum Spa. She gave me her cell number and told me she's never felt such a strong connection with a client before.

Here's hoping that Tarah and I will be married in a few months.

 

[Ex-Cop on Final Bust]

I'm gonna respond to this assuming the questiion is legit, and that you're not playing "mind fuck." LOL

There are TWO separate issues here.

1.) Your current boyfriend.

Things are obviously not going well, or else you wouldn't be open to the possibility of a new romance. I've been married and I can tell you things DON'T get better over time. They only get worse, and take a toll on your self-esteem, energy and motivation in the process. Cut your losses NOW, and don't hang around out of guilt. I did that for a couple of years coz I felt sorry for my wife. In reality by leaving I did BOTH of us a favour. She told me she's alot happier now and I feel like I've been released from a life sentence in Kingston Pen.

2.) Your new love interest.

I honestly don't think it's important "where or how" you met this person. If the chemistry is there I say go for it, if you can HONESTLY say YES to the following questions.

a.) can he handle what you do for a living ? Most men I know are quite jealous when a guy looks at their GF at a mall, let alone sending them off to an MP. I have a close friend who dated an SP so I know guys like this exist, but they're RARE. I could too but there'd have to be ALOT of trust and open communication.

b.) can YOU handle cuddling up with your new BF in front of the tv after releasing 6 guys during a shift ??? The MPA's I've spoken to RE: this subject have ALL told me they can't date while they're in the biz. It's too draining emotionally.

c.) can both of you deal with "outside pressure" well ? His friends and family will have lots to say RE: your profession. Even if you left the biz tomorrow they'll still criticize you coz of your PAST. Will he stand up for you and tell them to mind their own business?.... politely of course !?

Anyway,good luck and let us know how you make out

 

[Richard C]

Hi fellow massageplanet.netites!! It's Leah again. Before I forget, someone asked me if the by-law officers wore uniforms or not... No, they don't. They're just dressed in a normal dress shirt and dress pants. By-law officers only give out what we call "yellow tickets" which are NOT criminal. Police officers are the ones who give out what we call "blue tickets" which ARE criminal. If you get a blue ticket, you may even have trouble leaving the country. Nobody really cares about the yellow tickets because it's just like a fine. You pay it, and that's it. I used to pay my ex-boss $100 for each yellow ticket because he says that he was going to get this paralegal guy to take care of it. Several tickets later... some girls were telling me how stupid I was for giving my ex-boss the money because they told me that he was pocketing the money and just throwing my tickets in the garbage!!! WELLLLLLL, I felt pretty stupid!! Can't believe I paid that a**h*** $100 just to throw my tickets in the garbage. I could've done it myself!!! Since then, I just throw it in the garbage myself. No MPA really pays them or give a sh*t. Blue tickets are WAY more serious though, you have to get a lawyer because it's a criminal charge. Lawyer costs about $2000.

Anyways, back to my problem. Some people that I've been talking to have a good point. People CANNOT control themselves from having feelings for another person therefore they should not feel guilty about it. HOWEVER, they CAN control their actions so if they act upon those feelings, then, they should feel guilty. So right now, for me, it's still just harmless fantasizing, so I guess I shouldn't feel guilty. YET!! (right?????)

Anyways, my feelings are slowly going away now for the LE guy. Ever since I've come on massageplanet.net, I haven't had any more dreams of him. Probably because one of you made an excellent point when you pointed out that I really don't know anything about him and that he could be married with 2 kids for all I know. I think that kinda snapped me back to reality a little. And plus, if he does ask me out, how do I know if he's not just asking me out to get information on the place I'm working at. [The place I'm working at has been busted twice already (blue tickets), has a whole stack of yellow tickets, (no one really gives a sh*t), but they still haven't been able to shut us down 'cuz my boss has a real good lawyer.]

I also think my feelings have been going away because I haven't shown up for work for awhile now, (since they last busted the place about a month ago, kinda scared me off a little), so I haven't run into him again since. But I'll be back to work next week (running out of money already) so I'm just praying that those feelings won't come back when I run into him again. I just think that things would probably NOT work out between us since the odds seems to be against us, so reality is slowly sinking in.

You know, it's been really great to have the men's point of view on things. Most of my MPA friends gave me stupid advice. (Or at least I think it's stupid). For example, one MPA told me that every girl should have 3 boyfriends... One to PAY, one to PLAY, and one to STAY. Another one says that; "we're wackers... there's no such thing as LOVE for us... it only happens in that "Pretty Woman" movie. No man can truly love a wacker. They just think of us as toys to enjoy... not spend the rest of their lives with".
(in case anyone's wondering, "Pretty Woman" is definitely every MPA's favourite movie of all time. We can watch it a zillion times and still not get bored.)

But me, I still haven't given up on love. I know that it will find me one day. (I'll keep my fingers crossed.) Don't know if it's gonna be with BF, LE guy, or someone else though.

And "New Years Eggy": Good luck with Tarah. Hope everything works out for you. It's so hard to find love so when it crosses your path... Don't let go if it so easily. Some people spend their whole lives waiting for the right one, and he/she never comes along. Just remember, most MPA are human too. We need love and we need respect, just like everyone else, despite our job. We do what we do to survive. I just barely pay my bills, believe it or not. I've got no fancy car, no fancy house... nothing. I just have a small cheapie condo I'm still trying to pay off and everything is broken inside (no money to fix it). Bathtub is clogged. Toilet leaks. Windows make funny noises. I've got no internet. (I'm just using my friend's) Even the phone lines don't work. So to all of you out there who thinks we're just greedy little b**ches out to get your money, it's not true. It's usually the owners who make all the money for doing NOTHING. The $40-$50 DF you pay up front... We get only $10 of that. No wonder we have to do extras to make money!!

 

[__sanja_____]

Actually, you have a really good point there that I never thought about. You're absolutely right, I don't think I would've considered leaving my BF if another guy did not come along. The thought that I could fall in love/lust with someone else never even crossed my mind, which is why I'm so confused right now. Despite the fact that my BF cheated on me with my best friend, almost forced me to get an abortion (thank God, false alarm), and me paying for most of his bills (he hasn't been able to hold down a job), all this... and I never even considered leaving him for a single second. And I know it was all because of the chemistry/attraction I felt for him which I never thought I could experience with anybody else. But now, I know some of the chemistry/ attraction is fading because all of a sudden, I'm feeling something for this LE guy which I cannot explain. That's why I'm scared, because from past experience, I know I don't think logically when I'm in lust/love. That's why I'm afraid that I might leave my BF and regret it. Especially if things don't work out between me and the LE. And realistically speaking, after a lot of thought, I know deep in my heart that the chances of things working out between me and the LE is pretty much zero. We come from 2 totally different worlds. I have to survive by doing what I do, but he's been trained to kill the business that I'm in because it's "bad". So he probably sees me as a bad girl since I'm in a bad business. At least, my boyfriend and I don't have that problem. He accepts my business (since he spends my money, I guess he has no choice anyways), and honestly, it's REALLY hard to find a guy that can accept it. And I know I won't be quitting anytime soon. So with the LE guy, that will be a real problem.

Paul/IT: Actually, just out of curiousity, I decided to ask my mpa co-workers whether or not they tell the truth when it comes to their relationship status. I asked the first 10 girls I saw that ARE in a relationship (I work at 2 different MPs right now) and this is what I found: 7 says they NEVER tell the clients they have BFs/husbands, 2 says they ALWAYS do if they are asked, and one says it depends; sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't, although she didn't say under what circumstances she tells them what. However, SOME of the 7 that says they NEVER tell are no beauty queens so maybe you have a point that some girls have to lie to get clients to come back (according to you, me included). However, from the 2 that says they ALWAYS tell, 1 is always busy and the other one is not. So what is the conclusion of all this?? I've got absolutely no friggin' idea!!!

BUT interestingly enough, most of the girls that were NOT truthful about their relationship status were also not truthful when they tell clients their age. (Again, me included). The 2 that were ALWAYS truthful about relationship status were also ALWAYS truthful about their age. Again, what does this all mean?? I've got absolutely no friggin' idea also!!!

Anyhow, this is my experience with the whole "should I tell my clients the truth" thing. I used to have 2 clients that saw me regularly (once a week when I was working regularly). I ran into one of them at the mall when I was with my BF, and the other one I ran into at a restaurant, again when I was with my BF, and you know what, I never saw either one of them again. I think that just killed their fantasy. (My opinion anyways).

BTW, Paul/IT... so far, I've worked with 4 girls that used to work for you and they all say you run a good place. Keep up the good work!! I've been around and unfortunately, there's not a whole lot of good bosses out there.

 

[AchatCialis]

I'm glad you feel better talking about your situation, Leah.
Just keep developing and sharpening your instincts about people, there are lots of terrific guys out there if you can weed through them.
Live for yourself first of all and seek out a guy on your terms, not someone to rescue you like in the movies.